More Twists in Colorado ...

Well before Lisa's wedding, actually the night before at rehearsal, her Dad and Stella told everyone that they were going to be married.  Lisa was livid, and her sister was ecstatic!  Two very different reactions to the news.  I didn't know what to think.  They had only been dating a few months, but apparently Lisa's Dad is the kind of guy that cannot be alone.  He was married to his first wife for over 30 years.  And only a few months after becoming a widower, he meets Stella.  To me it was too quick, to Lisa's Nana (Grandmother) it was normal for men to remarry quickly after their spouse dies.  She was not at all surprised and was very supportive.  I learned to be supportive.  And so did Lisa.

I think Lisa's problem was she wasn't finished mourning the loss of her Mother, if that ever really does finish.  And she couldn't see Stella as her new Mom.  But I was there when she became friends with Stella and learned to love her.  Stella had children and grandchildren and the two families began to become one from there.

Lisa's Dad and Stella married on April 1st, yes April Fool's Day.  I don't know why they picked that day.  Must have been something about it between the two of them.   What I remember is they got married by the Justice of the Peace (a Judge) in a hotel.   Nice place, it was lovely, and I remember them both dancing to some songs by Lionel Richie.   Every time I hear "Stuck On You" I remember Stella and Lisa's Dad. 

~~

Before 1989 began I had moved into my own apartment.  Lisa and Jimmy and Anthony lived in Aurora, still in the apartment the 3 of us originally shared.  It was actually the 2nd apartment we shared.  The first one had a sewer back up into the kitchen, and being on the 1st floor meant a mess. The owners let us move to a 2nd floor apartment which was nicer, newer and only $25 a month more, I think.  I found my own apartment in Denver, not in the heart of the city, but a couple blocks West of Aurora.   It was a one bedroom apartment with a fairly big front room, that was supposed to be a dining room and living room combo.  I had a large bedroom, with a long closet, probably equal to a large walk-in closet.   The kitchen was a teeny tiny galley style kitchen.  It was annoyingly small, but then again with just me there, not a big problem. 

The only really silly thing was the bathroom set up.   Next to my bedroom was the vanity part, sink and mirror.  Then on the inner part was the toilet and shower.  Shower was standard size, but whoever designed this bathroom left no leg room really.  If you didn't close the door first to use the toilet, you couldn't close the door without getting up and moving.  Craziest thing I had to get used to. 

I accumulated some furniture with Lisa's help from garage sales and from friends of friends or coworkers.  I was never a hugely picky person about household things, I spent $30 on new cooking utensils.  A couple of which have survived until this VERY DAY!  

My apartment was on the 2nd floor of a 3 story apartment complex.  It was a courtyard style complex.  Parking was out on a lot, and I parked pretty much right outside my bedroom window.  You had to have a code to get in the gate to get into the courtyard.  Then walk to the middle and you would look up and see all the front doors to all the apartments.   They had stairs in different areas and I was closest to the one that was near the gate.   Hauling groceries in from my car to my apartment was a chore. I learned to not buy too much at one time, and I learned to grab all my bags and carry them all up at one time. 

None of the apartments had laundry hookup, we had to share a common laundry building smack in the middle of the courtyard.  Again, doing laundry was a pain in the butt, and I had to plan what I wanted to wash and take my quarters, detergent and fabric softener.   I would hang out down there sometimes through all the loads and fold and bring stuff up, but other times I would just go up and down the stairs, knowing when to go back and put the softener in.  Sometimes I missed the rinse cycle and sometimes I didn't.  Some nights I would just come home from work, and watch TV and do loads of laundry. 

It was a kinda of changing time for me, I was homesick sometimes, and bored to be living by myself.  That was the first time I had ever done that. I didn't have any other friends outside of work, and at this time I had just started working at BMW Financial, so I really had no friends then either.  I looked forward to visiting Lisa and Jimmy and seeing Anthony.  Most of the time I had to go to Jimmy's parents house to do my visiting, they were over there a lot. 

My rent was $275 a month, and that included heat.   My apartment stayed heated from a boiler under the apartments I believe, I had just to pay my phone bill (no cell phones yet), Public Service bill (just electric for me, but they billed for electric and gas if you had both), and my car insurance.   I made enough to live on.  I even got the newspaper delivered.  But after a while, life got really crazy again and I had no time to read it, I just tossed newspapers behind a table or the sofa and started looking a little like a hoarder.  Not really that bad, but it was embarrassing at times.  I had just basic TV with rabbit ears, no cable.  I couldn't afford that.  I think I spent time doing crafts when nothing else was going on. 

There was a bar on the first floor, I don't remember where it was there, and I rarely went there, but I always thought that was weird that I lived somewhere where it was a literal hop, skip and a jump to get liquor or beer.  I think the bar was called Excalibur's.   

I didn't date anyone then, so nothing in the love life area to speak of.  It was work, drive, shop, home and TV for the most part.  But that all didn't last too long. Things soon would get funky. 

~~

JImmy and LIsa started having problems, I am sure related to Jimmy's drinking problem.  At some point Lisa got fed up with Jimmy and moved herself and Anthony in with me.  Now I was not fully opposed to the idea, but then again, I just started getting used to them as the little family and me as the pseudo-Aunt and Godmother and loved to visit.   

Poor little Anthony had colic, really bad.  I learned how to hold him in a couple ways that the doctor said would be supportive and relieve his gastro-pain.  I learned then that the digestive tract is the last system in the body to develop.  Sometimes babies get colicky, sometimes they get jaundiced, and sometimes they have other issues.  Anthony had both of these.  But the jaundice went away during his first month of life.  Colic took a few more months.  He'd cry often, and for hours, I was always willing to help with caring for him.  He was like a nephew to me, and I loved him to pieces.  I could help Lisa catch up on her rest by caring for him.   That was a pretty cool time then.  

But then Jimmy ended up losing his job or something, again alcohol I believe ruined that for him.  And he and Lisa made amends and then HE moved into my apartment.   So here we were, 3 adults and a baby living in a one bedroom apartment.  Whenever I hear stories of whole families living in an apartment, with many adults, I kinda know how that feels.  It can be claustrophobic.  And Lisa could be a bossy woman too.  I lost my cool often, she could be so overbearing.  During this time I made Anthony central to the life in my apartment.  Just because these two "love birds" could go from happy to destructive in a day didn't mean this little guy they had brought into the world had to suffer. 

~~

....life can be a challenge.  When you want to live on your own, you can get lonesome.  When you want to have companions, they can be a pain to deal with.  Sometimes I think there is no happy middle ground.   You have to learn to roll with the punches, and accept people as they are in the moods they are in, and just learn to get along.  Life got even more funky as time went on in my little apartment.   The beginning of a new phase was about to begin!

Me holding a colicky baby Anthony

Anthony James, what a cutie patootie he was!

Unexpected Addition ...

In September 1988, Lisa found out she was pregnant.  Apparently this was not expected.  I was still living with Jimmy and Lisa and I remember the conversation that took place after she found out. 

Lisa had an ovary removed in 1987 when they found a huge ovarian cyst the size of a grapefruit, and of course the cyst and ovary had to be removed together.   For some reason the doctor then implied that she would only have a 50% chance of getting pregnant.  I don't think that really was the case.  But when she found out she was pregnant over a year later, she was a little upset and excited at the same time.  In Jimmy's mind, she had lost her mother and he knew she always wanted children, so I think there was some deception on his part when they had gotten together one evening and he didn't use protection but told her he did.  He wanted her to be happy again, and I guess getting her pregnant was a logical idea to him.

I was excited but annoyed that Jimmy was careless.  This was a new life, something you just don't jump into casually and without thinking all the normal thoughts of how you're going to care for a new one when you barely make enough for what you do have responsibilities for.   And for me, this would mean I would have to move out of the apartment, so the new one could have his or her own room.  And the family to be could be on their own.  Yep, I was a little selfish then, heck I think I was really selfish my entire life spent in Colorado. 

I believe the first thing Lisa did was quit smoking when she learned of her pregnancy.  Good for her.  I know that was difficult.   I don't know that she stayed true to it all the time, but she tried.  Jimmy did not quit smoking, and I am sure I didn't.  Hindsight tells me that everyone should have quit because even secondary smoke is bad for the unborn baby.  The mother-to-be breathes that air and the nasty stuff in the smoke gets into her system just as if she were smoking herself.  

Lisa and I spent time shopping for stuff she'd need, but most of the things she would get at the baby shower thrown in Spring 1989.   She did get a lot of needed things, and her theme for the baby's room was Disney characters.  It was so cute to see. 

Now even though I wasn't a practicing Catholic at the time, and neither were Lisa nor Jimmy, Lisa asked me to be her child's Godmother.  I took this very seriously.  I learned that besides the Christening Gown, the baby to be baptized would need a white stole.  I bought a cross stitch canvas that tears away and created my own design to make the stole.  I sewed a Cross on one end and had to wait until I knew what name they would give the new one before I could embroider the other end with the child's given name. 

Before I could accept the role of Godparent, we thought this over and I decided that I would join a parish in town in case the priest that would baptize the child needed to know this.  I never went to Mass at the parish, but I believe it was called St. James and it was located in Denver.   This was a little deception on my part, but to me I was trying to do the best to meet the role I was taking on, without actually being the best practicing Catholic godparent on the planet.  

Jimmy's Dad was going to be the child's Godfather.  I thought this was odd as a Grandparent already plays a huge role in the child's life, but truly Lisa didn't know many other Catholics, and Jimmy's Dad was a practicing Catholic.   It was just us kids that were not.  I had quit the Church a couple years earlier.  But the teachings of the Church were instilled in my head.  Hard to drum out all that knowledge with 10 years of PSR classes and a former Nun for a mother.  And Catholics all over the place in my family.  Lisa had quit after confirmation, I don't think her Father was a big fan of the Church and insisted his daughters just follow their heart even if that meant quitting the Church. 

Sometime in early 1989, Lisa's obstetrician said that she and Jimmy should learn the Lamaze method of childbirth.  So she signed up to take the classes, but Jimmy wasn't up for any classes.  I don't really remember why.  So I took his place at several classes.  Lisa wanted me there at the birth event, so I had to learn the method.  Very interesting stuff, and she did well at the classes.   But always was upset when Jimmy didn't join her.  He did show a couple times.  

When it got closer to the due date in May 1989, I would come to their apartment and help her practice.  Jimmy wouldn't do that either.  (I had moved out in early 1989 to my own small apartment. We'll discuss this adventure in a future post.)   On May 31st, I came over to the apartment to do the routine but when I got there, all hell broke loose.   First, Jimmy's parents were there, they were all having dinner together, when Lisa's water broke.  However, she didn't realize that was what had happened.  As a matter of fact, she had been in labor all day, but didn't know it.   The pains were not that strong she said.  After she showed me where her water broke, I told her that is what it was and then I ran out and told Jimmy.  He came in the room and stayed with Lisa while I called the doctor to him we were on our way to the hospital. The baby was coming!

Lisa felt there was no time to wait for an ambulance, so they decided Jimmy would drive her to the hospital.   I sat in the back seat and helped keep her calm.   I remember that Jimmy's parents drove separately.  We got Lisa in the car and tried to get her to be as comfortable as possible.  That was entirely difficult.   That baby was shooting to get out!   And then the sky opened up and it started storming and raining hard, and it was a mess to get to the hospital and not be revved up from the nasty weather and the new arrival just minutes from being born! 

We got to the hospital only to find out we were at the wrong entrance!!  More freaking drama and chaos.  Finally Jimmy got to the correct door, we shouted for someone to bring a wheelchair.  The hospital staff took over.  They got Lisa admitted, and got her in a birthing room.  They hooked up heart monitors and all sorts of commotion was going on, I don't remember it all. They checked for the baby's heartbeat, it was big and strong.  It was awesome, this was it!!  Then the nurse said the doctor wasn't there yet.  Dummy me told him the wrong hospital.  I gave the hospital where we had taken Lamaze classes, but Lisa later said that she had chosen to have the baby at another hospital in town.  Ay carumba!   My gosh, I was a nervous ass wreck during this. 

Meanwhile, the nurse also said that Lisa needed to use her Lamaze training, she could not get an epidural because she was already at 10 centimeters...and the baby was nearly starting down the birth canal.   Holy cow Batman!!!  And to my amazement Jimmy stepped in and took over helping Lisa focus on something and do her proper breathing.  I was happy he did that.  She once asked to hold my hand as she fought back the urge to push.  I had to tell her no.  Why?  Because I had memories of two years before when she had to have that surgery to remove her ovary.  She had grabbed my arm while in pain, and after having pushed the button that dosed her with pain meds, and she nearly tore my arm off.  After that, I said no to her ever grabbing my arm while in immense pain.  I cared about Lisa, but geez I still wanted to have an arm too!   LOL

Once the doctor got there, Lisa's Mother-in-law left the room.  She had birthed 4 kids of her own, she said she wasn't interested in being in there while someone else went through all the pain.  I stayed and of course Jimmy stayed.  The doctor gave her the go ahead to push and she did and within minutes, little Anthony James was born!  Only an hour and half lapsed between when Lisa's water broke to when Anthony James made his entrance to the world.  Truly a world record in births, maybe! 

The nurses checked him out head to toe, he was perfect!  I had never seen a live birth before, this was so awesome an event to behold!!!   Then the doctor said he had to stitch Lisa up, she had a pretty good tear at the vaginal opening and needed some stitches.  These would cause a lot of discomfort for several days.   They put Anthony James in her arms and the little family was now complete. 

....  I have never had any children of my own, I find it special in my heart to have been witness to the birth of my Godson.  It was spectacular, and dramatic, and nerve wracking and awesome!!!    I believe everyone should witness the birth of a baby.   It makes you realize how precious life is...and how beautiful every single baby is.  God blessed me with that unique experience.   I was just glad that Anthony James didn't decide to pop out while we were en route in the car to the hospital.   That would have been way too much more drama than any of us could stand.

The new little family

 

 Me holding newborn Anthony James

New Daddy Jimmy holding his son at home

New Mommy Lisa holding Anthony James in his bedroom

More Auntie Sue baby holding time!

 

 

Anthony James Baptism
Priest, Lisa holding Anthony James, Jimmy and Grandpa/Godfather in front

Me behind Lisa

 

 

Priest filling out the baptismal record

And Godmother Sue holding Anthony James again!!

I'd get a lot of time doing that...

 

Adventures In The Mountains ...

In June 1988, Lisa, Jimmy and I travelled up to Estes Park, driving I-70 past the Coors plant in Boulder, checking out a Lookout spot. It was the most fun weekend I remember we ever had.  

Jimmy loved to fish, so I believe that is why we went to Estes Park.  That was the prettiest park with a lake I have ever seen in my life.  I don't recall me catching anything, though I tried.   I do remember there being a water moccasin in the lake near where Jimmy was fishing.  I was freaking out.  At that time I hated even seeing a snake, I had a severe snake phobia then.  It never got on the bank where we were, but I kept a distance from that sucker. 

We didn't stay long at Estes Park, just long enough to smell the fresh mountain air and see the blue sky.  I loved being in the mountains, so different from my suburban home back in Missouri.   Where I am from is quite humid in the Summer and Colorado is anything but humid.  Instead of air conditioners as I am used to, they had swamp coolers.  They might look similar, but where air conditioners aim to remove humidity in the air, swamp coolers put humidity back in the air.  This is important, because too dry of air can give one sinus problems, and for me I got bloody noses a lot the first few months I lived there.

Now I am not 100% sure what camp ground we ended up going to for the weekend, but I do know that it was over 11,000 feet up in altitude.  Things are a little different that far up, little less oxygen and that has a weird affect on some.  Also it seems like you can touch the starts up that high.  And the sun is bearing down on you differently than at lower elevations like in St Louis. 

We found a campsite, pitched a tent and started a campfire.  Jimmy was really good at starting the fires and barbecuing as well.  We had plenty to eat, some adult beverages to consume, and Jimmy liked telling stories so he told us a freaky story.  I myself was a little weird from the word go as a child, in that I was fascinated with fires.  My dad used to make them in the BBQ pit and then wave his hands over the fire, as to look like they were going to be confused.  Jimmy didn't do that but his fire was good and roaring and putting off a lot of heat.  And I just the loved the look of it and the sound of the crackling it made. 

While we had the fire going so well, I hadn't noticed that the temperature was dropping .... really low.  When we had gotten there in the middle of the day it was probably in the 80s in Denver, but 70s or so in the Mountains.  At the campsite, apparently it had dropped into the 40s.  Can you say freezing?  We finally turned in for the night, Jimmy and Lisa in one huge sleeping bad, me in my own.  But by the middle of the freezing cold night, I had to join them, because it was SO darn cold, I was suffering a bit from hypothermia.  I couldn't sleep and we all three huddled together until the sun broke.  We put everything in the car and drove back down the hill.   And that is when my first ordeal with the changing elevation affected my ears .... really bad.   

My ears popped a lot coming down, and they were hurting so much.  When we got back home, I wasn't feeling well.  I eventually had to go see a doctor and have him check to see what the heck was going on there.  I found out I had a sinus infection and a blocked ear drum, that was what was causing the pain.  Jimmy had tried to help me by putting some oil in my ear, but that didn't help, and it was a little too warm to bear in my sensitive ear.  I was lucky that without medical insurance I could find a doctor that wouldn't charge me too much to be seen.  When I was in my early 20s, insurance wasn't anything I ever really worried about.   That of course changed as the years rolled on.   

~~~~~

Another time we went up in the mountains but this time it was in the winter.  We went up there and hung around Dillon Colorado.   Someone Lisa knew had a cabin or something like that up there that we girls would stay at.  One night we found a bar at the bottom of one of the ski slopes near Vale and I watched out the window at the skiers coming down the mountain and then they'd get on a ski lift to go back up and do it all again.  I couldn't ski, I had the weakest ankles.   Me and gizmos like skis wouldn't get along anyways, I was a known klutz with athletic equipment.  LOL.   But that was a pretty fun time, it was cold and snowy and slick outside.  Seems I was worried the entire drive we might slip off the mountain roads and head to our untimely deaths off the mountainside.  Obviously that didn't happen....I'm here to write about it.   

~~~~

Another time we went to Red Rocks Amphitheater, which is a venue carved out of the mountains in Morrison CO, where of course the Earth is red and rocky.  I don't remember who we saw, but it was most certainly a rock group of some sort.  I would be up there again a few years later and it looked the same.  At that time Lisa took me there and we saw Tesla and someone that opened for them.  Up until this point I had always thought it was Lifehouse, but I did some Internet searches and found that was not the case.  Could have been Poison, they did tour with Tesla back then.  I remember that back in 1992 I was more interested in Country music, so I wasn't thrilled with Lisa's music choice for a musical evening out, but in the end it was a fun time, and that Amphitheater has awesome acoustics!   

~~~~

The only other visit to the mountains I remember was with my bosses family when I worked at BMW Financial.   He had a cabin in the mountains outside of Aspen.  His daughter Coleen drove us up there and we enjoyed a night of dinner, drinking and stories.  And that the only bathroom was an outhouse.  Was that ever interesting for this "city" girl.   The roads winded and winded around slowly up that mountain, it was the most interesting drive I remember.   At points only one car could go up or down at a time on the road.  I would never have driven that....not then, not now.  Heights and narrow roads are not my friends.   :-)  

~~~~

.....thinking about times gone by and the many adventures I had had back then, I often wonder why I never wrote about these then.   It surely would have made remembering things now a bit easier.  But when you are young, as I was then, you often just live life and don't think about the future.  You think you are invincible, and not going to die, and not going to get old.  What silliness that all is!   We all have to die, most of us age and age until we get pretty old before that happens.  Why not write down some things for prosperity and for memory's sake?   You never know if you're going to want to write an autobiography or a blog for all to read.    And there is STILL more to share.  Keep on reading. 

  

One of my pics taken circa 1987 or 1988 in foothills of the Rockies. 

Love those red rocks!

New Home, New Jobs ...

Now that I was in Denver, things had to be done.  I had to find a job.  Jimmy and Lisa were supportive and didn't push me into getting a job or worry about paying for anything until I did.  I think I got a job 2 weeks after moving out there.  Now I don't recall the exact order of the jobs I had, but I do remember some incidents while there, worth noting. 

At one point I worked part-time at Kmart, where Jimmy's Mom worked.  Let me say this unequivocally.  I HATED THAT JOB!  I didn't like standing on my feet all day in one spot and there was no time to meet other coworkers and get to know anyone.  This was back in the day before sliding credit cards through card readers.  This was the time when you had to get the credit card machine and a carbon form and slide the gizmo over to imprint the card info on the form.   Very time consuming for customers to wait, and if you messed up any of it, you had to do it over.   You had to call a number to make sure the card was valid.  I got plenty of denials...aggravating that's all I can say. 

Later on while still at Kmart, I got a second part time job with a real estate company, working as the receptionist.  My schedule was set up where I worked a Kmart in the morning, and the real estate office in the afternoon.  Why the RE office didn't want a full time receptionist, I don't know.  But in the morning Evelyn would be in the office.   I'd take over for her and things rolled on along.  Now, I cannot say I hated this job, but it wasn't the most efficient place.  Real estate agents coming and going, and giving me notes about things I had to remember.   I had to print off MLS records of new listings, and I had to do a lot of other things. 

The big problem came after I was there maybe 2 or 3 months, when Evelyn came through my line at Kmart one day.  I had no idea why she was at the store I worked at.  I don't think she lived anywhere around there.   But one day I had mentioned to her that I got paid every Friday in cash.  Why Kmart did that, I don't know.  Why I told her that, I don't remember.   So one day I showed up at the RE office on a Friday, put my purse in the drawer next to Evelyn's and then went to retrieve some MLS reports off the fax machine.  I came back and Evelyn was leaving.  Didn't think a thing about it, until later.  I went in my purse sometime later in the day and realized my income from Kmart, the cash I earned from the prior week's work, was gone!  Now I knew good and well I didn't actually see anyone take it.  But Evelyn was the only person in the office up at the receptionist desk during the short period of time I was away from the desk.  My thought was she took it.  I went to my boss in private and mentioned that I suspected she took my money, figuring he'd help find out.  Well, was I ever wrong!   The next day after he had spoken with Evelyn, I was surprisingly LET GO!  I was stunned and livid!   The president gave me my final check and said I was not needed anymore. 

The next day, Evelyn calls my home saying SHE was sorry that I was let go.  I told her that I thought she was the one that took my money, she of course denied it.  Then for the top shocker of them all, she told me that she had gotten hired to work FULL TIME at the office.  When I got hired a couple months prior, they told me they didn't want a Full Time person cause they'd have to pay full benefits, now they hired her, after she possibly stole from me.  I felt like I had been kicked in the gut and then stomped on.   I hadn't done anything wrong, in my mind.  I accused her of stealing from me, and I get fired?   What the Hell?

******
Another job I had was working at Silo, with Lisa.  Which was very convenient.  We rode together, she taught me my work, and I got to meet a bunch of fun and interesting people.   We had to enter purchase orders and invoices into their computer system, and periodically do inventory.  I did like this job a lot.  It was more up my alley of work, and it provided me with good money to live off of.  I actually worked for a Temp Company, Lisa actually worked for Silo.   They told me my assignment was for 6months to possibly permanent.  So I wished and wished it would turn to permanent.  It did not.  But I enjoyed the camaraderie amongst the crew I worked with while there.  The one person that stands out to me was Tony.  He was gay.  But a funny gay guy at that.  Everyone loved Tony!   He made the room light up with his awesome humor and his knowledge about so many things.  He'd hang around all us girls and just have us cracking up, every time.  I love that about work environments.   Laughter is so much needed in the business environment, when stress is at an all time high, laughter helps chill the mood.  And it is always contagious.  :-)


******
I had one job that didn't last long and it was a 2nd shift position.  I started at 3:30pm and got off at Midnight.  It was working with student loan applications and loading information about each student and loan in a system.  That was it!   The most boring job I had ever had in my life.  Thank god it didn't last long, I found a full time job as a data entry person in a CPA firm.   This would be the job that I loved the most and hung with the rest of my time while living in Denver. 

The company was called BMW Financial Inc.  Had nothing to do with the car manufacturer BMW.  Instead those are the initials of the last names of the 3 owners of the company.  The office crew was small, I believe 7 or 8.   And we shared office space with another company, though I have no idea what those folks did.  Their receptionist was the first person anyone would see. Yours truly was in the far back office, entering data for each account we had, everyday. 

I loved this job because I was like a bookkeeper in training.  It was mellow enough that we were allowed to listen to a radio all day, and busy enough that I never got bored.  And challenging enough that I got to use the really cool IBM computer to create new forms for the clients that needed them.   I was in a place that let me create, do work that involved a lot of math, and did not have too many distractions to upset my balance, so to speak.  Jim's daughter Coleen worked there.  She was sometimes a pill and half.  She was married to a guy from Pakistan I think and they had a little boy.  And Jim's wife would stop in every so often.  She made me nervous for some reason.   Deana was the lone woman owner, and she wasn't there the whole of my employment there.  She ended up with some severe headaches but not sure what from.  She ended up selling her part of the company to Jim and the other male owner (name escapes me) and leaving.   She's the one that hired me and so I was sad to see her go. 

Diane was the actual bookkeeper.  She sat in another room, connected to the one I was in.  She was a force and a half.  I was at BMW for a little over a year, until I left Denver and moved back to Missouri.  Diane left the company before I did.  She got offered a job somewhere else, by one of our clients, and took her Rolodex with her, and attempted to convince many of our clients to go with her new company.  Some did.  Of course the owners were pissed with that whole thing.  It got a little tense in the office when all of this went down.  

Cindy was our lone sales person....garnering new accounts all the time.  She was in the office sporadically, and I have to say I loved Cindy!  She had 2 kids both of which that were allergic to wheat.  I heard and learned a lot about how difficult it was (back in 1989) to find foods that kids could eat that were Gluten Free.  She explained how long it took to figure this was the reason for her kids constant illnesses.  That had always made an impression on me, surely why I remember that story until now.  She was a good Mama and a good Sales person. 

At some point Lisa, my roomie, lost her job at Silo.  My boss was looking for another data entry clerk, I think I mentioned the opening to her and she came on board.  This was one of my biggest mistakes.  But to understand why, you'd have to hear the story of how Lisa ticked.   It didn't take me long to realize I shouldn't have told her about the job.  I know she needed a job, for many good reasons, but working with one's closest friend can have repercussions at home and in the work place.    Something to talk about in my next post.  



.....  when you go off on your own for the first time, things are new and fresh, and sometimes so thrilling you don't see all the ramifications of your new choices and new options.  Where some things seem logical, other things seem to interfere with your plans.  And some things come out of nowhere to upset the whole life you had created.   I had plenty of that type of thing going on while living in Denver.  Plenty.  And you'll just have to read on more to find out what else went on.   These were the days of much of my life's learning.....

First job in Aurora Co

 

 

Aurora on a map, East of Denver proper

 

 

 

Denver bound ....

Now for the most part I have been omitting some things that I did, overheard, or know about some people I have mentioned.  I don't wish to denigrate anyone's reputation, that is not my goal here.  But part of my life's journey involves all kinds of experiences, from the controversial to the very tragic.  I wish not to divulge full names here because I don't think that is necessary.  Understanding how difficult some choices were, how and why I decided what I did, that is the story I wish to leave.  It's my journey, some of these people were there along the way.  I wish no ill will on any of these people.  If I did in the past, I do not now.  I am 25 years older and understand people make mistakes, do stupid things and most of the time it is out of ignorance or faulty thinking (emotional thinking and reacting on just emotion) and can get you into trouble often. 

**** So the Fall of 1987 came and went, I was still saving money, still working at Bob Schultz, and suddenly I get a call that explains something has changed in the plans for me going out West.  Lisa has moved in with her boyfriend Jimmy and his sister and her husband.   I was like okay, where am I supposed to live?   When I would get out there I was going to have my own room.  And by then Jimmy's sister and her husband had moved out.   The whole thing was a little unnerving for me at first.  I never lived with a couple other than my parents, and honestly, by the time I was old enough to understand marriage and all that, my parents had moved into different rooms.  So the idea of living with a couple in that arrangement bothered me.  Call me strange or whatever, although I had wanted a boyfriend, like Gary, I had never really thought far enough out about living with a guy....everyday, all the time. And since I didn't even really know Jimmy that well, this arrangement made it more difficult for me to accept at first.

Another call later, I find out that Lisa's sister was doing drugs.  Well that was great.  What on Earth was I getting myself into??  I went on some holier than thou speech to Lisa about having an issue with all these things, that quite frankly I wasn't sure I wanted to "take on" in my everyday life.  I think we had a little spat about the whole thing, but in the back of my mind, I really wanted to move out of my parents' house and this was the only way I saw I could do it.   My friend Chris E. and  her Mom tried to talk me out of going, and to get my college degree.  Oh yeah, I had tried to get a Pell Grant from the state to go to UMSL but was denied it, and then after I had all these plans to move, I got another letter saying they re-evaluated my case and had accepted me and would be able to give me a grant afterall.   I was so pissed.  Here were plans to go do something fun, and the idea of college had been dismissed, only to have this opportunity to pop up again and I stubbornly dismissed it again!  This would be one of the biggest regrets of my life...

****

I continued to box up my summer clothes and sent by UPS to Lisa and she saved all my boxes for me.   In my designated bedroom.  When the time came to actually leave, I only had about 1/2 carload of boxes and the rest of my clothes that I didn't box up.  Lisa S. rode along with me when we set out in mid March 1998.  I left Bob Schultz behind, said goodbye to my family, and neighborhood friends and I am sure to others as well.  We started driving, and within 8 hours realized we were headed for some really nasty winter weather.  It was dark as coal out in the middle of Kansas on Hwy 70 in the night time.  What I hadn't known at that time, was my alternator was on the fritz.  And as I drove, I gradually noticed my headlights getting dimmer and dimmer.  We found a motel to stay at, in Goodland Kansas.  We couldn't go much further anyway, they had blocked the highway at the first exit in Colorado due to blizzard conditions.  I pulled into the parking lot, parked, and turned off the motor.  And then realized the stupid thing wouldn't restart.  The alternator belt had shot craps.  Well, I decided we'd worry about that whole thing in the morning.  No one was going to be able to take off with my car unless they could tow it, so it was pretty safe. 

Got some sleep and in the morning, a Sunday, thought I was never gonna find anyone to help me tow my car and find a shop that would be open to fix it, but my guardian angel was looking over me, and we did find a shop, and got a new belt installed on it and I think it was about $40.  I was glad it wasn't more.   We got back on the road, but because Hwy 70 was blocked right on the other side of the state line, we had to stop at the tourist center and seek another route.  We ended up taking the Hwy that went further South and bypassed most of the nasty winter weather, it headed to Colorado Springs.  Having no idea in the world what I was about to run into, I am sure I said a prayer, though I wasn't really practicing any faith at the time.  (ANOTHER topic for later).  We drove and drove, using the map I bought, and it was the weirdest thing I ever remember seeing in my life.  The white snow was mixing with the reddish Earth and tumbleweeds, the sky looked like it was snowing colorful snow!   I had never seen it before or since.  I remember making comments about it, like jokingly to Lisa S.  She laughed.  She always laughed at the silly stuff I said.  I was glad she was there. 

Now further into this detour we needed to refuel, but had no idea where the gas stations were.  It wasn't like you could see things far ahead, and this wasn't an interstate highway, so there weren't all the fancier big signs to let you know when food or gas was coming up.  We were getting low on fuel, I remember getting quite nervous of being stranded out in the middle Colorado in a blizzard with a car that wasn't 100% reliable.  BUT we finally found a station, gassed up, and continued on our way.  I was more interested in getting to my final destination than looking at things around me or taking pictures.  I wish now I had taken some pictures.  It might have been great to add to this post.  

I had taken a lot of change with me and called Lisa R. when we stopped off in Colorado Springs.  Back at the motel, I called and charged it to the room, so I paid for one call there.  On the road though needed change, there were no cell phones in my life back then, most of them came with the higher end cars.  My Dodge Omni was not a high end car, by any means.  I let her know we were on a detour and had no idea when I would be in Denver, but as soon as we hit I25, I knew things would speed up quick.  This highway goes North and South on the Eastern plains near the base of the Rocky Mountains.  Since the winter blizzard didn't allow any visibility, I didn't get to enjoy the drive during the day to see the Mountain range as we got closer to them  It was a long long day to drive so far out of the way.   But we finally got into town, it was dark again.  Got on Alameda and drove to my new apartment, my new digs as I call them now.  I was never so glad to have that entire road trip behind me. 

Lisa S. stayed with us for a couple days.   We had one night of partying before Lisa S. went back home.  I loved to drink alcohol back then, so I know I got a little buzzed and that helped calmed my nerves.   After that was over, Lisa S took a flight back to St. Louis, and back to her home.  It would now be a never ending saga of one drama after another....  ooh, I don't want to give away anything yet.   You have to read up on it all next time.

..... journeys from home to the unknown can be filled with excitement or fear, contentment or panic.  My saga was filled with all these things and more.  You often learn a lot about yourself (and others) through the super joy joys, and the super discontented times....  I didn't always behave well or mature, or even close to rational.   But I learned from all these adventures and my reactions to them.   It took a lifetime to feel safe and secure of mind to even begin to share all this.   But in the sharing I hope to illustrate how slowly I learned to find myself....there is so much to share, I hope you hang on and continue to read on.   

Yours truly (with cigarette in hand), Lisa S., and Lisa's sister

 

Jimmy and Lisa R. (my new roomies)

Business School, Turning 21 and Changes Galore ....

So much was going on in my life in 1986 and 1987, it is downright nutty to try to decide what to mention first. I think I will 'start at the very beginning', like Maria sings in "The Sound of Music." :)

Sanford-Brown had a jobs notice board. I decided to try to find a part time job while going to Business School. I got hired on after passing their test at Western Union. The telegram company. The Internet hadn't yet become a public useful thing at the time, people still sent telegrams everyday as well as money to people in need. I learned real quick this place monitored EVERYTHING you did.  You had to get a time card and punch it on the wall, when you started your work, when you got up to use the restroom or take your break, when you came back from break, and at the end of your shift.  You were allotted so much time based on your hours worked for restroom breaks.  If you went over that, you were docked.  If you took a longer break than allotted, same thing, docked for the overage. 
No one really came to you and spoke to you once you entered the room where all the computer terminals were.   You were an Operator number and nothing more.  I did not like this.   I worked there for about a year, and only as a means to make money.  I made no friends there, and because it could be stressful, I started smoking...  

The stress came from the pushing to have everyone sell things that cost more than the average fee of sending a telegram.   And they monitored your phone calls.  I don't know how they did that with over 100 employees spread out in at least 4 rooms of terminals, but they did.  The 4 rooms I remember shared one corner from each butted together, and in that area there was a monitoring station with a couple people working, every day, every minute.   This company ran 24/7, 365 days a year.  I worked 25-30 hours a week at first, just enough to keep me busy but below full time status.  To get on full time there involved politicking.  Which I never got into.  You had to have recommendations from other full timers or from management.  Well having never really gotten to know anyone there, that wasn't going to happen, and the longer I stayed, the more I hated it, so in my mind why would I ever want to be their FULL TIME.  They charged union dues, even if you didn't technically belong to the union.  I never understood that, but they docked me a set amount on every time card for it.   I believe I was making $6 a hour back then, which was nice.  All my summer jobs before only paid minimum wage, $3.35/hr.  I had no true benefits, so I had to get medical insurance on my own. 

Some time while into working at WU, 2 days per week got slashed off my work schedule, so I dropped to 15-18 hours a week.   To fill in the income gap, I found a job with Emerson Electric.  It was fun there, but the biggest problem was that the Union workers were all on strike, and no one knew when they'd return.  I only worked at EE 2 days a week for a month and they had to let me go because the strike was preventing them from getting the workload to keep me busy.  That sucked, because I really enjoyed that kind of job.  But I don't specifically remember what I did there....it was too short a run.   I just remembered there were nice people and it was kinda interesting to walk past the work stations the union members would work at building whatever it was they built.   I think it was parts for airplanes.

I don't think I ever found any other place that would work with my schedule to work only 2 days a week.  So by early 1987 I was looking again for full time employment.  I found that at Bob Schultz Motorcycle Supermarket. 

They actually had 2 stores, and sold more than just motorcycles, and parts for them.  They also sold John Deere and White lawn equipment.  They sold 3 wheel ATVs, which over time became a problem with the amount of dangerous stunts and accidents people had, so they slowly started selling 4 wheel ATVs.  My job was to help do all the paperwork, including getting financing for those wishing to finance their purchases rather than pay cash.  Although most of the ATVs and bikes were less than $5,000, most people chose to finance.  There were dozens of forms to have filled out before the purchaser came to sign.  My biggest problem wasn't the work, it was the manager/owner.  He was a very aggravating and sometimes downright nasty person to work with. 

I got the job after showing some backbone in convincing him that I was worth more than just minimum wage.  Although he advertised the position as minimum wage position, I talked him up to $4 an hour.  I had made $6.50 an hour when I left Western Union, but that was for part time work, this was full time and not likely to have cut hours.  So he agreed to the pay rate if I showed him I could be dependable and do the work.  I was and I did.  Until one day when he wasn't there, and I was doing the closing with a purchaser.   The guy asked how the bike went from $3500 on the sales floor to over $5000 at closing.  I was trained to "fudge" how that happens....I didn't like the magical trick of lying to people.  Instead of pointing to the final sales price, I was to tell them them monthly payment and this guy wasn't budging and wasn't signing.  The salesman got all nervous and didn't want to lose the sale, he only got paid commission on the number of bikes he sold (maybe too on John Deere's, I don't know).  He called Bill the boss and Bill asked to talk with me, and proceeded to yell at the top of his lungs at me over the phone, I became totally unnerved and started freaking out, and dropped the phone and went into a closet and cried.  I had never been treated so badly by an employer in all my life up to then. 

I wanted to quit but couldn't find anything in the paper advertised where I met the qualifications for.  I was so confused, and really avoided being around Bill when he came to the office after that.  I don't recall if he ever apologized for his treatment towards me.  He was such a nasty person at times, and then when he wasn't that, he would say things that would make any woman feel uncomfortable.  Not TO them, just about women in general.  Stupid things.  I learned a lot that year, that was for sure.  I did have good times with the other ladies in the office.  Donna and Joyce were wonderful to me.  I worked a couple times at the other store, which had a different ambiance altogether. 

During this time is when Lisa and I had visited Colorado.  About a month after that she decided she had to move back to Colorado and wanted me to come.  She was working at a car rental place at the airport and found she could easily transfer out to their office in Denver.  Good for her.   But I couldn't do that.  She left me behind until she could find a suitable apartment for me to move to live with her.  That was the plan anyways. I began saving my money and boxing up my stuff to have sent out there ahead of me. 

I turned 21 that year.   Which was a blessing and a curse.  I was now legal to go to any dance club I wanted, but now my friend who got me involved in dance night's out was in Denver.  I hung around some friends from high school, Carmen and Michelle.  We hung with some guys one of them knew, and went horseback riding at Creve Coeur Park.  We had a lot of good times.. but when I turned 21 I felt the weight of being taken advantage of.   Carmen kept bugging me to purchase alcohol for them to take to a party or somewhere, and I refused.  I remember that feeling to this day how that felt.  I remember that was pretty much the end of the partying and hanging around with them.  And I never saw Carmen again, not for a VERY long time. 

I decided to keep my mind on moving to Denver in the Spring of 1988....and for all the changes yet to come in my life from that point on.

....when you are young and free to do as you wish, the world opens up and seems inviting and ominous at the same time.  Being naïve is normal when you are young, you haven't learned the outside world and how it truly ticks.   But naivety also comes with some warnings.   Whatever you thought you knew, that you learned from your family, may not be how everyone else lives and does their lives.  It's in the coming of age that we truly learn what kind of people we are, what kind of ethics we have and what kind of life we want to live.  Sometimes we grow, sometimes we freeze out of fear, and sometimes we take risks....and realize good or bad can result.  I had a lot of those kinds of lessons in life.  Read on, things get complicated really quick next. 

The horse I was on at Creve Coeur Park

I took the picture, ergo, not in the picture!

 

Michelle on her horse - more experienced rider !

 

 

Chris, Michelle, and Carmen with guy I don't recall name of

 

Don and Glenn, salesmen at Bob Schultz

Christmas party 1987

 

 

Joyce and her husband at Christmas Party 1987

Circles Of Friends ...

I met a lot of people in Business School, but the main person I became very close to was Lisa R.  She introduced me to tons of people over the course of our friendship. Now honestly I cannot remember the order of when some things happened but I'll do my best to tell the stories as best I can remember.  

First was Lisa S.  Lisa S.'s father owned a car dealership in the Metro area.  I never met her parents but I did meet her brothers.  I recall going to a lake, possibly The Lake of the Ozarks, and swimming off a dock and drinking.  I know the older brother of Lisa S. was there.  But there were several people there I didn't know.  I could swim fine but I was afraid of lakes and rivers that were deep that I couldn't see the bottom of.  Oh that was a huge fear of mine.  I just stayed near the dock for fear of floating out too far and being bounced around in the waves when boats would fly by.  I just stayed around Lisa R. and listened to the goings on.  I was a bit out of my element being around so many people I didn't know and with guys around.  I always felt like it was mandatory to be flirting with guys ... and I just didn't know how to do that yet.

There was Kelly and her husband and family.  Lisa R. and I probably spent several weekends hanging with them.  Lisa met Kelly at a place she worked.  I remember attending Kelly's wedding reception and that they had a macaw, huge bird.   I always was fascinated by the talking birds of the parrot family.  Kelly and her husband had a lot of issues, and I don't know whatever happened to them. 

Lisa R. was known for trying to help others any way she could.  She loved to see married couples get along, and she LOVED with a Capital "L" children!  Anyone that had a little one, she was all over it.  I loved kids too, I just wasn't as open with new ones I was introduced to, they always seemed a little scared of me.  Lisa also loved animals, particularly dogs I believe.  Anyone who had a dog, big or small, she showed affection towards.  I was not particularly keen to large dogs, as I had gotten bit by a dog when I was a child and bigger dogs just intimidated me. 

Lisa R. was a person of great emotion.  She was dating Greg when I met her.  He was a very unique and loveable person.  He had a wonderful talent in art, especially with his drawing.  He was a super fanatic of the rock group "KISS" and could draw every member and every record album perfectly by memory.   I was in awe with his artistic ability. He also was trained as a drummer.  Another cool thing I liked about Greg.  I'll mention more about this in a later post.  Greg was in love with Lisa.  That was utterly apparent.  She loved him, but her parents did not.  It was that great stress of having one's parents not approve of your choices of mates that would have her leave Greg and latch onto someone else. 

The someone else I am referring to is Ron.  He was a nice guy, but something about him I didn't care for.  He was a volunteer EMT I believe.  One of the first guys I sort of dated was Bill.  He was Ron's friend.  Bill was a unique dude.  I don't remember much about him and I think that was a practical thing on my part.  We went out a couple times, and one evening Lisa and I met up with Ron and Bill.  Lisa and Ron went off to talk alone, leaving Bill with me alone.  He was interested in robotic gizmos, and told me about his robotic helicopter.  We were sitting on someone's car, and talking for a couple hours it seems.  Then Lisa and Ron returned, we all went to Bill's house and that's when things got way too serious for me.  Lisa and Ron spent time together and Bill was acting weird and I guess trying to come on to me.  I just was so afraid, so naïve, and I kept telling him no.  He left me on the sofa. It was like 3am I think.  I tried to go to sleep, kept hoping Lisa would return so we could go home.  It was like 5am when we finally got home.  I was coming in as my Mom was getting up.  That was awfully strange to say the least.  I was angry with Lisa for putting me in that uncomfortable spot, as I had no way to leave...she was my ride.   And the last thing I remember about Bill was that he and Lisa had a talk about me, and then he started hitting on her.  Well then I think she understood why I was uncomfortable.  One of the first paralyzing memories I have of dating a guy.  Really messed with my head for a LONG time after that.

Early in 1987 I had met Gary through Greg. Gary and I dated for a few months. Gary, Greg and Chuck, all lived at the Salvation Army residence in town. Gary was from Indiana and was in the Missouri National Guard. He didn't have a settled home and wound up in my hometown. Chuck, well, I am not sure I know where Chuck was from. He and Gary met up with Greg at The Salvation Army home and became friends. Greg thought Gary was my type I guess and I dated him. He was a very timid soul. We got a long pretty well. The three guys managed to get some work lined up and rented a townhome together. It was a new place, really nice, a bedroom for each of them. Chuck always felt out of place, he wasn't dating anyone and I think seeing Lisa with Greg and me with Gary made him feel a little like a 5th wheel when we all went out to dinner or do anything together. We spent a lot of time at that townhouse.

Gary was into me, but I was not as responsive as he would like. Again, naïve and fearful of guys, thanks to Bill, I was just not sure about getting involved in a romance with Gary. I really needed support and guidance from Lisa, but she was too interested in her romance with Greg that she was not paying attention to much else.  So I just didn't accept Gary's advances and eventually he would find someone else to get heavily involved with.  Don't know where he picked up this gal, but she was every bit 10-15 years older than him.  I was jealous and hurt... and Lisa was mad as heck at Gary for hurting me so.  I hadn't felt like I was in love with him, and for me to get seriously involved with anyone had to have love and passion there.  After he effectively dumped me, probably weeks later, I could tell that I had felt something for him.   And then started blaming myself for not responding to his needs sooner.  It was the first time I had dated and had my heart broken.  This would haunt me for a long time...not Gary particularly, but just the idea I had a guy, refused him and then was dumped.   Rejection of that type hurts very deeply.  I wouldn't understand the confusion I was in for a long long time. 

In July 1987 Lisa and I flew out to Denver, her old hometown, and stayed with her former neighbors.  They put us up for the time we were out there.  Lisa used to babysit their kids, I was introduced to them all.  The boy played ice hockey and I remember him getting all his gear together to go to practice.  Nice kids.  Nice family.  I cannot recall their names anymore.  But I do remember feeling very welcomed there. 

While out in Denver for this visit, Lisa also introduced me to her former boyfriend, Jimmy.  And to Jimmy's parents and brother and sister-in-law.  It was July, got to be 95 degrees during the day.  Hot but not humid.  Something very new to me, as St. Louis July summer days could equally get up to 95 but it was also always oppressively humid.  Something I detested.  In the evening, in Denver, it got down into the 50s, huge drop in temp, and with the low humidity it felt like it was in the 40s to me.  I had to borrow a winter coat so I wouldn't freeze.  Lisa and Jimmy laughed at me wearing a winter coat in July, but hey when you're cold, you're cold!

I loved Denver, smog and all!  The family we were staying with took Lisa and I on a drive to Evergreen Colorado, which was in the foothills of the Rockies.  Gorgeous!  It was so cool to drive into the mountains, first time I had ever seen MOUNTAINS in my life!  You could see them from Denver pretty well if the brown smog wasn't bad.  Hwy 70 goes west straight into and through the mountains, literally.   Before getting there though you had to drive by Stapleton Airport, and that was the first time I had been on a highway the went under the airport...well the runways actually.  That was so cool....long tunnels to drive in.  2 to be exact.  St Louis would much later expand and create something similar, but not with a highway such as I70 driving under/through it. 

Lisa and Jimmy were high school sweethearts, but Lisa had to move after high school when her Dad got transferred to St Louis.  He worked for TWA airlines.  They were all originally from New York City, Long Island.  He got transferred to Denver when Lisa was in grade school.  Lisa always told me lots of stories about the people she knew in NYC and Denver, and always talked about Jimmy.  Even sometimes while dating Greg.  I just knew her heart was split on these two fellas.  Ron was just someone that was accepted by her parents, but not like Greg or like Jimmy.  I didn't have a preference of either, both were fun to be around.  Greg was from the country and was an unbridled kind of guy with I think ambition to be in a Rock Band and to get out of his hometown and be with Lisa.  Jimmy didn't have a passion in any type of particular work, he just wanted to party and have fun.  That's what I remember of these two guys.


....some relationships are not meant to last a lifetime, but all relationships teach us something.  They teach us about humanity, about ourselves, and about human emotions of all kinds.  I would soon be experiencing all sorts of emotions in the many months that followed my trip to Denver.  Hang on....literally and figuratively...the ride is going to get very bumpy!




Here are some photos of some of the people during this time.  No I have no photos of Gary, Chuck, Ron, Bill or even myself.  I always was the one behind the camera.   I was the one wanting to take photos of others as keepsakes...for this very blog even before blogs were invented!  If I find any photos of any of these folks, I will update this post.  I always do.


 

 

Kelly at her home Christmas 1986

 

 

 

Greg and Lisa (and Greg's nephew) at Greg's Sister's home



Lisa S., Lisa R. and Greg down on the Riverfront