When Life Sends You On A Journey
Showing posts with label Music. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Music. Show all posts

Thursday, April 25

Music Part I ....

Hey I wanted to explain the meaning of music in my life up through my teenage years. 

Music was always a part of my life as it probably was with a lot of people my age back then.  I would listen when I was alone mostly.  One of my favorite memories was when I was by myself, with a handheld transitor radio, and listening to Wings' "Let'em In."  It was a bright sunny day, I had nothing to do but listen to that radio, and when that song came on hearing Paul McCartney singing, I felt free as a leaf in the air.  That memory has a pleasing affect on my mood....if I but settle my mind to think and remember it. 

My cousin Kathy introduced to some rock music styles to me back in the early 70s.  I remember being in her bedroom and she turned on some music and I was in some sort of Heaven.  I learned that I liked all kinds of music over the years.  My Dad had some record albums I would play all the time.   One was the White Album by Johnny Cash.  I learned a lot about Cash's style of country music.  That stuff would stay with me all my life. 

Dad had some Surfer dude music too.  Maybe that was Mom's taste.   When I was 10 my Mom decided that she was going to join the Columbia House music entity.  There you would pick out 6 albums on cassette and get one free and be required to buy a few more.  Each of us got to pick out what we wanted to listen to.  Dave picked Elvis Presley's greatest hits.  I picked out Captain & Tennille's album "Love Will Keep Us Together", Mom picked one of the Beach Boy's albums, not sure what Sandy picked out but I remember Debbie Boone's "You Light Up My Life" was one, and so was one of John Denver's albums.  We all listened to these albums all the time.  I got a cassette player for Christmas soon after we got these and had a blast with that.

We went on vacations and I took the player and the cassettes and played them all the time, even under my pillow when I went to bed.  I was crazy in love with music of all kinds.  

We got Shaun Cassidy's album that had "Da Doo Ron Ron" on it.  Played that thing until it was unplayable I am sure. All the girls in the neighborhood came to our house to listen to music.  And we once created a dance choreographed to some of his songs.  All the girls raved about how cute Shaun Cassidy was.  It is a fun memory of mine.  

Until we got a stereo with cassette player, I used to record onto cassette anything I liked playing on the radio.  Had to lean the cassette player up to the radio and hope no one made any noise in the background.  I even recorded the entire movie "The Sound of Music" that way and replay all the cassettes, as it took more than one, under my pillow, memorizing lines in the movie and all the songs sung.  

Finally we got a stereo with cassette player/recorder.  I spent many nights and weekends when nothing else was going on, with headphones on and recording my favorite tunes on cassettes.  I got pretty knowledgeable about brands of cassette tapes and how many songs I typically could record on one side, and judge it so I didn't have a lot of wasted space at the end of any side.  Always listening to Casey Kasem's "American Top 40" on Saturday morning radio.   And with the stereo cassette recorder, you didn't have to worry about background noise, it only recorded what was broadcast on the station.  I used to clean the house and let it record things and then back up the tape and record over anything I didn't want.  Yes I was the geeky freak about recording music, in high school. 

Ah, and then the next favorite thing I used to do, when no one was home, was play the music I like and pretend I was on stage and sing aloud and pretend I was performing.  I mostly liked to pretend I was the lead singer, but sometimes I liked to sit and pretend I was playing the drums too.  I loved to pretend I was doing a benefit concert and money made at the event would go to support a charity....   That's just how I always thought I would like to use any talent I had like that.   And truth be told, all these years later, on occaision when my husband isn't home, I will do this sometimes.  Not much dancing anymore, the ole back is not what it used to be.  But singing and pretending to be on stage, yeah, still do that sometimes.  I believe this is the first and only time I am admitting I do this.  LOL

We teeangers would debate a lot which radio station was the best.  There were the KSHE95 followers, and the KWK followers.  Me, I have always been a radio dialer....when a comerical came on, I would dial into some other station, I just wanted tunes to play.  I still do that now, but technology is different...so that is not always an issue anymore.  I'll pick up that topic in a later post.   KSHE is still on the air....that station is as old as me, but KWK has been long gone.  We have The ARCH now in its place.  I like both still...but The ARCH plays more genres than just Rock and Roll as KSHE still does.  And the classical station is not on the main stations, you need HD radio....yeah, I have more to talk about that whole issue later.  LOL

My first car didn't have a cassette player in it, which was an ultimate bummer.  I purchased a portable player to listen in the car that way, but driving on the highway made so much noise, couldn't really hear it.  Then my Dad started borrowing my portable recorder, after he went back to work and I ended up giving it to him.  It made him happy to listen while making biscuits or whatever he was making in the morning at the restaurant.  I always thought that was funny, him liking to listen like I did.  Now I think that was really neat, I was like him that way....loving music.  


 
 
 
 
 

 
 
 



  


Saturday, April 13

Life from K to 12...

I wanted to pause here and say a few things about what experiences I have had so far, not necessarily in any post so far, and a little about what affect they've had on my life as an adult.  To me looking backwards and studying what one knew at a time in the past and comparing to what one knows as an adult is helpful.     

When I was in Kindergarten, I used to suck my thumb.  To be honest I sucked my thumb past Kindergarten, but I am not fessing up to how long.  My mom really wanted to me to quit, and apparently my Kindergarten teacher did too!   She used to lightly slap my hand to get me to stop.  I didn't like this, I felt betrayed.   Mom would give babysitters something that had hot pepper juice in it and have them slather it on my thumb.  When I indulged in this "bad habit" it would fire up my mouth and lips that I had to drink water to cool it down.  But I learned one day that if I used a lot of soap and water I could wash it off and go back to my little tike ways.  Now what was the purpose of sucking my thumb?  It was a way to relieve anxiety.  As I got older, the anxieties I suffered didn't go away, they sometimes waned and sometimes worsened. 

When I was in high school, I had a lot of anxiety too.  I didn't suck my thumb to relieve it, though.  LOL  No, I just worried a lot, and listened to music A LOT!  I turned music on to study for tests, to create my artwork to, and to sometimes get a little crazy and sing and dance to (by myself mind you).  I worried about things like why certain people didn't like me, why no boys asked me out on dates, how was I going to remember all this stuff for a test, why do I look so unattractive, why don't people invite me to parties or hang with them?   I didn't have answers to these questions, I posited my own answers and was pretty much a sad person underneath a lot of laughter.  I know many people suffer this, I know this NOW.  I didn't know this then.  Lots of the anxiety I had I carried into adulthood, and lots of behaviors I engaged in to "medicate" these anxieties had an effect on my mood, my physical health and my own personal beliefs about myself.  But I survived....I'm living today to tell my journey. 

Not many people know this, but I worried for years that I would suffer a Bipolar episode like my Dad.  Especially as I got closer to the age of 40, the age my Dad was when all his world exploded into mental illness hell.  I didn't suffer a Bipolar episode.  I have suffered anxieties and super anxieties, and had panic attacks.   Last one was a few months ago, but it was lessened in severity by medication I am on.  I used to drink alcohol at parties and enjoy myself a little more than normal.  This was after high school but before I was of legal age to drink. Alcohol is a depressant and can have a calming affect on your nerves.  But it is addictive.  I never became addicted but I do have an addictive personality.  I have been addicted to some activities, just not alcoholism.  At these parties, I might have over imbibed and got hung over, and then waited a week to do it all again.  I was more a social drinker than anything else.  Last drink I had was sometime in 1999 or so.

The worries of yesterday are different than today.  When I was a kid I worried about other kids liking me and getting good grades.   As an adult, I worry about keeping the job I have, the mortgage, my husband, and an elderly Mother.  I worry about having enough to pay for bills, a job to make the money and provide medical insurance and afford the medications I am on.  I worry about my car as it ages and soon to hit the 115,000 mile mark.  I worry about whether to go back to college and finish any of the degrees I started long ago and never finished.  As a kid you don't always know who to trust, who to get help from or necessarily that there is help out there in the first. place.  As an adult, sometimes you feel that there is no one to trust, that no one really knows how to help you, or that the help offered is really necessary for you....that it is all a ruse to get money out of you. 

Now here I could jump into my faith story and what I believe about trusting in a Higher Power and the Universe and God and all that.  But I really just wanted to say something about what I have noticed about how I changed from a worrying kid into a worrying adult.  There are a lot of stories to tell now about what happened to me or around me, and how I dealt with things then, and I how I would deal with them now.  I'll get to those, that is the #1 reason I wanted to do a blog in the first place.   I'm not afraid to explain my story, some of it with embarrassing anecdotes and silly lessons.  But life is not perfect, sometimes makes no sense at all.  But it is okay, we all have a life journey to live, and some go through huge trials and make it out to the other side okay, some do not.  I think my being willing and able to write this for others to read shows I have made it out to the other side, and I know I am and will be okay....for a long time to come.  

..... what happens next is some of the most memorable things from my past.   And I am excited AND anxious to tell you.