When Life Sends You On A Journey: New Friend From Far Off Land...

Even though I had graduated High School and was attending Business School, I still hung around friends still attending SCHS.

One of my good friends was Chris E. She was in my brother's class, three years behind me. I don't remember how we met. Kinda thinking it was through sports or something. She played instruments and Volleyball. I loved Volleyball! I loved playing it, I loved watching it. What I do know is between her and Nancy, I met Pascale. She was the Exchange Student from Belgium, and she and I became fast friends.

I don't even know where to start. She was the same age I was; had already graduated high school in her home land. But she was allowed to come to the U.S. and take her Senior year again. She had 8 years of English training, and spoke fluently. She was from the Southern part of Belgium which spoke French. They are known as the Walloons. The Northern part speaks Dutch and known as the Flemish. These two sides often were at war with each other but since 1831 when the country received independence from The Netherlands it's calmed down a lot.   I thought this the most fascinating thing about a country I knew little about. But Pascale taught me more during the year she was here in the states.

We hung together like two inseparable bees on the weekends. She also played volleyball and I'd go watch her play. She was well liked by everyone she was around. I knew that she had a boyfriend back in Belgium; his name was Phillipe. Weekly I think she called her family or they called her, and she let them know what was going on in her life.  I was with her a few times when her phone calls occurred, but I had no idea what she was saying in her native tongue.

She was a very bubbly person. Very attractive....a couple suitors had their eyes on her. One was a very geeky guy. She was always polite to him but you could tell she wasn't interested in dating, her soul mate was back home! There were many people that she wanted to hang with, and at times a little jealousy formed in my heart cause of course I wanted to hang with her as well. But I think we had a good relationship.

Her host family consisted of a mom and dad and I believe three kids. They had hosted Exchange students before from different countries. Pascale had to babysit the kids when the parents would be gone for various functions. I remember quite vividly watching MTV with one of the kids. The song "We Built This City" by Starship was one of my faves back then...and loved the opportunity to see the video. We didn't have cable TV at my house.

I once let Pascale drive my car. Just once.  And during her driving escapade, she did a donut in someones side yard. I laughed and then switched seats with her. I didn't want us getting caught, you see!!! She was full of mischief at times, but she was the first person to push me to come out if my shell.

Let's see, so much to say here. Um....

At Christmas time the 2 main Exchange Student program directors invited all the Exchange Students to a party. They in turn could invite a friend. And Pascale invited me to meet all these people. It was surreal. Like being at the U.N. People from every European country was there, it seemed; as well as from Japan, China, and I am sure from South America or Africa. I just really remember Franz from Germany. He was cute guy and wore some clothing I had never seen in person. Lederhosen yes, the hat with a feather, no. LOL!! I had the grandest time meeting all these people. Pascale didn't know all of them, but you couldn't tell. She was just so affable with everyone.

She also babysat some kids that lived down the street from her host home. They had three kids under 5 and the youngest was a baby. I came over one time while she was sitting with them, and she asked if I could do her a big favor.  It was almost New Year's Eve and she was invited to go out with some folks (I don't know who or how she knew them), and asked if I could babysit in her place. Even though I'd rather had spent the ringing in of the New Year with her or some other friends, I said yes. My heart told me that she is here, living here, a once in a lifetime opportunity, and I just couldn't say no to her experience and her request. I met the parents, and she told them I would babysit. I had experience sitting for my cousin's kids and some family's kids my Mom knew from work. They accepted the whole thing, and I did babysit and Pascale had a wonderful time with the people she was with that nice evening. I knew in my heart she really wanted to be with Phillipe and that wasn't possible, I really could sense that she was a little homesick at the holidays. So I did what a good friend would do.

Earlier on I learned Pascale loved to see as much as she could of the St. Louis area, so I took her to a Cardinal vs. Cubs game at the stadium. We got there really early and wanted first go up in the Gateway Arch but it was closed for some reason. Bummer! But we enjoyed the day. Nancy K. was with us.    I took Pascale to other places, like one of the cool malls at the time. She loved that. She always liked commenting on the American lifestyle. She always cracked me up.   To her we had a timid side and not very open with others. In her custom, it is normal to greet a friend by kissing them on each cheek. Here we don't that. That was a bit strange to get used to for me. No one but one Aunt ever kissed my cheek. But over time, I kinda got used to it.

She had told me that her parents only sent her $35 a month to spend while living here. I knew that wasn't a whole lot of money for an 18 year old to use for entertainment or purchasing special clothes, whatever. So I came up with an idea. If she taught me French, however she wished to do that, I would pay her $10 an hour to do so. She cried when I told her this, accepted the offer, and that's when I took her around town, downtown St. Charles has a French section, the waterfront park, and shops of all kinds on Main Street. We spent a lot of afternoons down there. Sometimes it was chilly, so we sat in my car and watched the different people do their thing and she taught me French. I took notes, I even still have all that stuff in one of my keepsake spots in my current residence. I had the most fun time watching her see my country through her eyes. And she just soaked up every second of it.

One of my most favorite memories was when Nancy, Chris E. and myself, along with Chris' parents blessing, planned a surprise birthday party for Pascale. We held it in Chris' parents basement. Invited several friends of Pascale's, including a couple of the other Exchange Students she was fond of. I took her out for dinner at Red Lobster, and gave her a present from me. It was an embroidered picture with the saying about friendship. She loved the whole thing. The premise was to have her think this was her birthday gift...but little did she know.   After dinner I drove back towards her home, but told her I had to make a pitstop at Chris' house. She went in with me, and her parents and Chris made it seem like no big deal going on there. I don't recall how we got her to the basement of all places without suspecting anything, but she was surprised as ever! We had a rocking good time. That was the first surprise birthday party I had ever hosted. It was fun for all!

The last good memory I have is being there while she was getting ready to go to Prom with the geeky dude, I think his name was John. I took pictures of them before they left. Well, really I took pictures all the time...of Pascale and all our friends in different environments. She was a beautiful young lady. He was all snazzied up as well.   She didn't really want to go with him, she wanted to just go and mingle with everyone, but I think her host family convinced her it was the proper thing to do to go with a guy to Prom. I always laugh when I think of this memory. She was silly.   Very independent, very determined. I loved that about her alot.

I hated to see her go. It was a tearful goodbye. I did keep in touch with her for several years, but by 1995 she had married Phillipe and moved to Bassily Belgium and was working as a translator I believe, the job she really wanted to do. I have tried to find her on the internet, but it is difficult when there are lots of Pascale's, Phiillipe's and the language barrier kills it for me. I tried once to write a translator online, to help me convert my English letter to Pascale's parents (they still lived in the same home where I wrote to her before she married) so they could read it. I believe her parents only knew French. So I couldn't call them if I wanted to....I never dealt with overseas calling before, and I was not sure how that would go. Writing seemed more logical, but this translator didn't help too much, so I just gave up the whole deal. I am sure she and her family are doing well.   She was one of those types of people you meet once in a lifetime. I treasure all those good memories and lots of laughter I shared with her.

.....when a special person comes into your life for a short time, it can be so wonderful. Never forget to be there 100% for them, it really is a blessing for the rest of your life to have those memories.   Doing for others is a blessing in itself....I had more opportunities to help others as time will tell in this journey.