I wanted to go to a 4 year university and get a degree, but could not see why I couldn't follow in my Dad's footsteps and attend the Business School he did many years prior. So Mom and I headed to the school, talked with an admissions advisor, and I chose to take the program on Data Entry and Computer Principles. Computers were finally beginning to become prominent in business and it seemed like a good fit for me...I wanted to work in a white collar job like my parents did when they met and married.
August 1985 was the beginning of classes. Unlike all my high school classes and teachers I remember to this day, I don't recall all the classes and really don't remember teacher names during the 9 months I attended SBBS. What I do remember more are some of the people I met, some of the work I did and some of the antics that went on. It was like college but still more like high school to me. I went to class and again did well in all of them. I really didn't make any friends there until December 1985. I was a shy one, new environment, and all new people surrounding me. I wasn't known for being an extrovert at all!
First two people I met and befriended were both named Lisa. Then I met Donna. Then we all met Mona and her sister. The five of us would do stuff together outside of our classes. Lisa S. lived in the dorms across town from the college. Lisa R. and myself still lived at home. Mona and her sister I believe lived an apartment near the highway. And Donna lived at home with her significant other. During the rest of the school year I had visited each of these places. Only Lisa R. had been to my house. I was still anxious about anyone turning up at my home with my Dad there. I just didn't want him to embarrass himself or me, in front of my friends.
The two Lisa's knew others at the dorms and I met a lot of guys and gals there. Several times throughout the school year, we'd finish classes (around 1pm) and head to the dorms and party over there. That was my introduction to dorm life. Sometimes we'd skip our last class, I was doing well in the class, so skipping it didn't bother me much. It was like a learn on your own thing for one of the programming languages I was learning. We'd head to the Lee's Fried Chicken restaurant down the street and have lunch and just plain enjoy ourselves. I loved this school year after I met these people. I let some of my defenses down and had a good time as a 19 year old in a new environment.
On many Tuesday nights, the two Lisa's and I would travel across the river into Illinois (the East side) and go to a Ladies night at Stages, a dance club. That was my introduction to drinking and dancing...and men looking to pick up girls. For the life of me I could never figure out how it was legal for this bar to serve girls underage. Everyone entering had to show their driver license. And girls were allowed in if they were at least 19. Guys had to be 21. Thinking back on it now, it was the ultimate in hookup places. Although, I can admit now, I was never "picked up" in that place. I had a dueling feeling in my heart about that. On the one hand I really wanted a guy to ask me to dance (that never happened) and on the other hand I was way out of my element and scared of older guys. In reality, this was really not a safe place to be for a naïve girl like myself. I just wanted to belong, and dance, and have friends. And drink.
We were there once at this club and some male strippers were performing. I was totally freaking out at all that. Watching the looser girls up by the stage carrying on, I would laugh, I would stare, I would turn my head, I just didn't know what the heck to do. That was the only one of a few times I ever was in proximity to male strippers.
What I truly enjoyed was the band that played live there on Tuesday nights. They were called Tropix. They were very good. The lead singer was a very attractive guy, his brother was in the band, and if I wasn't checking out their performances, I was eyeing the keyboardist. That was the instrument I loved back then. The brother of the lead singer was dating some girl that worked at the hair salon Lisa R. went to get her hair done. That's how Stages became a part of our lives for several months.
A few times instead of heading to the bar, we stayed at the dorms and drank and played games or watched sports on TV. I remember attempting to drink a 6 pack of beer and not being able to get past can number 5. I was pretty drunk, and although that was not the first time I had gotten that drunk, I was happy that no one took advantage of my state. I really didn't think too far ahead about what could have happened in those circumstances. I think all my experiences back then taught me how easy it is for girls to get into a load of trouble with guys and one thing leading to another, all while under the influence. You have to remember this was 1985-1986, when AIDS was in the news all over the place. All I remember back then was it was a sexually transmitted disease, and I didn't want that death sentence. I think this was one of the main reasons I didn't try to open myself up to any guys and date back then. I just didn't trust guys and I didn't want to get AIDS. (Oh, normally you'd hear girls say they didn't want to get pregnant....well, that was not an issue for me....you'll learn why soon.)
Lisa R. was good friends with Lisa S. But Lisa R. and I would become very close friends and do lots of stuff together. When it came time for graduation in June 1986, Lisa R.'s parents invited my parents to their home to meet and then go to the graduation ceremony. I was concerned the whole time about how my Dad would be perceived. I was happy to learn later from my mom that everything went well. And later still learn from Lisa that her parents liked my parents. That was a blessing. Lisa's Mom could be quite particular about other people's manners. I never knew my Dad to have manners...sad to say. But I guess he was on his best behavior, and that I loved to hear!
The ceremony was at a unique place. And the stage was a place celebrities came to perform, and the whole stage rotated around and around! Really wild. But it moved slowly, so everyone in a 360-degree circle around it could see the going's on up on stage. I again had to wear a cap and gown and received a diploma for my efforts. I earned a 3.9 GPA that year, and I was most pleased with that accomplishment. I think my parents were too!
Many kids go off to college and have fun, learn new subjects, make friends and "sow their oats" so to speak, before getting serious and finishing degrees and getting married and having families. I started out pretty much the same way, but life didn't exactly progress in the same manner that many of my High School friends lives did. I wouldn't continue college after Sanford-Brown as I intended. I got involved in other going's on, and headed down a different path. My life would soon become an adventure...sometimes interesting, sometimes scary. Never boring.
....life is never predictable. You can plan something for years and things change midstream when you least expect it. You can be enjoying your youth and suddenly be transported into very adult situations and have no idea how to deal with things. These are the things I contended with. Sometimes well, sometimes not. More to this life saga coming up, stay tuned ....
The facade of Sanford-Brown campus.
The school was in front of a golf course.
I took this picture because of the humor of it all.
Lisa R. (in the hat) and Donna taken indoors from the patio
where we'd congregate between classes.
I couldn't find any pictures of myself at this time in my life at school. Ahh..
I couldn't find any pictures of myself at this time in my life at school. Ahh..
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