More Twists in Colorado ...

Well before Lisa's wedding, actually the night before at rehearsal, her Dad and Stella told everyone that they were going to be married.  Lisa was livid, and her sister was ecstatic!  Two very different reactions to the news.  I didn't know what to think.  They had only been dating a few months, but apparently Lisa's Dad is the kind of guy that cannot be alone.  He was married to his first wife for over 30 years.  And only a few months after becoming a widower, he meets Stella.  To me it was too quick, to Lisa's Nana (Grandmother) it was normal for men to remarry quickly after their spouse dies.  She was not at all surprised and was very supportive.  I learned to be supportive.  And so did Lisa.

I think Lisa's problem was she wasn't finished mourning the loss of her Mother, if that ever really does finish.  And she couldn't see Stella as her new Mom.  But I was there when she became friends with Stella and learned to love her.  Stella had children and grandchildren and the two families began to become one from there.

Lisa's Dad and Stella married on April 1st, yes April Fool's Day.  I don't know why they picked that day.  Must have been something about it between the two of them.   What I remember is they got married by the Justice of the Peace (a Judge) in a hotel.   Nice place, it was lovely, and I remember them both dancing to some songs by Lionel Richie.   Every time I hear "Stuck On You" I remember Stella and Lisa's Dad. 

~~

Before 1989 began I had moved into my own apartment.  Lisa and Jimmy and Anthony lived in Aurora, still in the apartment the 3 of us originally shared.  It was actually the 2nd apartment we shared.  The first one had a sewer back up into the kitchen, and being on the 1st floor meant a mess. The owners let us move to a 2nd floor apartment which was nicer, newer and only $25 a month more, I think.  I found my own apartment in Denver, not in the heart of the city, but a couple blocks West of Aurora.   It was a one bedroom apartment with a fairly big front room, that was supposed to be a dining room and living room combo.  I had a large bedroom, with a long closet, probably equal to a large walk-in closet.   The kitchen was a teeny tiny galley style kitchen.  It was annoyingly small, but then again with just me there, not a big problem. 

The only really silly thing was the bathroom set up.   Next to my bedroom was the vanity part, sink and mirror.  Then on the inner part was the toilet and shower.  Shower was standard size, but whoever designed this bathroom left no leg room really.  If you didn't close the door first to use the toilet, you couldn't close the door without getting up and moving.  Craziest thing I had to get used to. 

I accumulated some furniture with Lisa's help from garage sales and from friends of friends or coworkers.  I was never a hugely picky person about household things, I spent $30 on new cooking utensils.  A couple of which have survived until this VERY DAY!  

My apartment was on the 2nd floor of a 3 story apartment complex.  It was a courtyard style complex.  Parking was out on a lot, and I parked pretty much right outside my bedroom window.  You had to have a code to get in the gate to get into the courtyard.  Then walk to the middle and you would look up and see all the front doors to all the apartments.   They had stairs in different areas and I was closest to the one that was near the gate.   Hauling groceries in from my car to my apartment was a chore. I learned to not buy too much at one time, and I learned to grab all my bags and carry them all up at one time. 

None of the apartments had laundry hookup, we had to share a common laundry building smack in the middle of the courtyard.  Again, doing laundry was a pain in the butt, and I had to plan what I wanted to wash and take my quarters, detergent and fabric softener.   I would hang out down there sometimes through all the loads and fold and bring stuff up, but other times I would just go up and down the stairs, knowing when to go back and put the softener in.  Sometimes I missed the rinse cycle and sometimes I didn't.  Some nights I would just come home from work, and watch TV and do loads of laundry. 

It was a kinda of changing time for me, I was homesick sometimes, and bored to be living by myself.  That was the first time I had ever done that. I didn't have any other friends outside of work, and at this time I had just started working at BMW Financial, so I really had no friends then either.  I looked forward to visiting Lisa and Jimmy and seeing Anthony.  Most of the time I had to go to Jimmy's parents house to do my visiting, they were over there a lot. 

My rent was $275 a month, and that included heat.   My apartment stayed heated from a boiler under the apartments I believe, I had just to pay my phone bill (no cell phones yet), Public Service bill (just electric for me, but they billed for electric and gas if you had both), and my car insurance.   I made enough to live on.  I even got the newspaper delivered.  But after a while, life got really crazy again and I had no time to read it, I just tossed newspapers behind a table or the sofa and started looking a little like a hoarder.  Not really that bad, but it was embarrassing at times.  I had just basic TV with rabbit ears, no cable.  I couldn't afford that.  I think I spent time doing crafts when nothing else was going on. 

There was a bar on the first floor, I don't remember where it was there, and I rarely went there, but I always thought that was weird that I lived somewhere where it was a literal hop, skip and a jump to get liquor or beer.  I think the bar was called Excalibur's.   

I didn't date anyone then, so nothing in the love life area to speak of.  It was work, drive, shop, home and TV for the most part.  But that all didn't last too long. Things soon would get funky. 

~~

JImmy and LIsa started having problems, I am sure related to Jimmy's drinking problem.  At some point Lisa got fed up with Jimmy and moved herself and Anthony in with me.  Now I was not fully opposed to the idea, but then again, I just started getting used to them as the little family and me as the pseudo-Aunt and Godmother and loved to visit.   

Poor little Anthony had colic, really bad.  I learned how to hold him in a couple ways that the doctor said would be supportive and relieve his gastro-pain.  I learned then that the digestive tract is the last system in the body to develop.  Sometimes babies get colicky, sometimes they get jaundiced, and sometimes they have other issues.  Anthony had both of these.  But the jaundice went away during his first month of life.  Colic took a few more months.  He'd cry often, and for hours, I was always willing to help with caring for him.  He was like a nephew to me, and I loved him to pieces.  I could help Lisa catch up on her rest by caring for him.   That was a pretty cool time then.  

But then Jimmy ended up losing his job or something, again alcohol I believe ruined that for him.  And he and Lisa made amends and then HE moved into my apartment.   So here we were, 3 adults and a baby living in a one bedroom apartment.  Whenever I hear stories of whole families living in an apartment, with many adults, I kinda know how that feels.  It can be claustrophobic.  And Lisa could be a bossy woman too.  I lost my cool often, she could be so overbearing.  During this time I made Anthony central to the life in my apartment.  Just because these two "love birds" could go from happy to destructive in a day didn't mean this little guy they had brought into the world had to suffer. 

~~

....life can be a challenge.  When you want to live on your own, you can get lonesome.  When you want to have companions, they can be a pain to deal with.  Sometimes I think there is no happy middle ground.   You have to learn to roll with the punches, and accept people as they are in the moods they are in, and just learn to get along.  Life got even more funky as time went on in my little apartment.   The beginning of a new phase was about to begin!

Me holding a colicky baby Anthony

Anthony James, what a cutie patootie he was!

More Changes In Store ....

Sometime after Lisa found out she was pregnant, Jimmy proposed to Lisa.  I never knew what was streaming around in that guy's head, but he wanted to marry the mother of his child.  They set a date for some day in January 1989.   Honestly I don't recall the exact date.  But do recall a whole lot of things up to, during and after that date. 

Lisa's Dad, now a widower, began dating a gal that Lisa's sister worked with.  Her name was Stella.  For Lisa this was a little aggravating, having just lost her Mother, she couldn't understand why her Dad was dating just months after the loss of his wife of 30+ years. 

~~

We had a Christmas party at our apartment and Lisa's Dad and Stella were there, as were some other folks.  Lisa's Dad drank nearly everyday after dinner, and this was no different, but little did we know that he was drinking a little more heavily now.  When it was time for him to leave, he left on his own, swore up and down he was fine to drive and left.  Stella left on her own, or maybe with Lisa's sister.  The rest of the guests left and then we went to bed.  Then came a call that shook us all up, Lisa's Dad was in jail.

We all got dressed and went to the police station he was jailed at.  Stella in the meantime had called a bail bondsman and then met us at the police station.  The bondsman pulled up in his car, got out and then to our amazement we noticed he was a Little Person. I use this term after looking up the proper acceptable term for a person of small stature.  Now up until this time in my life, I had never seen a Little Person in person...in proximity to myself.  I have seen them on TV, not in person.  He got out of his regular sized car, with briefcase in hand, and walked towards us.  We sat inside the station in an area and I think Stella did the talking, she had the money for bail.  She paid him, and then we all waited until Lisa's Dad was released.  He had been serving on the Highway while driving home, and got pulled over.  That's when we knew he was not in a good shape, and he would lie to himself and the rest of us about it.  He missed his wife who passed 6 months prior, and turned to drinking more than usual.  I felt sorry for him, he was lost. 

~~

Now after Jimmy proposed to Lisa, she stated she wanted to be married in the Catholic Church.  I kinda thought this was silly because she hadn't been a practicing Catholic in many years, what was the point?  Her point was that is what Catholics do.  So that is what she worked towards.  First she decided where she wanted to get married, at the Basilica in Denver.  Why?  I do not know for sure, possibly because it was big and pretty and part of her fantasy of what a perfect wedding would look like.  Then she met with the pastor, and he told them they'd have to go to marriage Pre-Cana classes.  Well was that ever interesting.  Of course I wasn't with them for all this, but I heard about it, a lot.  Basically, she didn't tell the priest she was pregnant, and Jimmy answered the Foccus test with answers that he thought Lisa would say.  All of this was just red flags and reasons not to get married in the Church, and maybe not get married at all. 

Then Lisa chose her sister as her Maid of Honor and me and her friend Roxy as her bridesmaids.  Not sure if there were other bridesmaids, seems like there may have been one more.  Jimmy chose his Best Man and his groomsmen.  Then Lisa did all the other normal wedding planning stuff, find someone to create her dress, find a shop all the wedding party could rent dresses and tuxes at, order the flowers, the cake, and decorations for the Church, and find a place for the reception and pick out the foods to serve.  This was done in about 3 months time for the entire preparation.  Oh and get a limo and photographer.  I don't know if she was given a limit on expenses, but she constantly had to let her Father know what was going on and what money was needed for these things. 

Now let's get this out there now, I hate dresses!!! But I did wear one in this wedding.  I mean it wasn't that bad, but I am a tomboy at heart, and I dislike the fancy shoes.  I'd rather wear tennis shoes or sandals, really.  I bought shoes, rented the dress for $50, and probably had my hair done.   Lisa's dress had to be altered as she started showing a bit before the wedding, she fretted about that non-stop and thought the priest wouldn't marry her if he found out she was pregnant.  I shake my head now, because nowadays I don't think that would be a huge impediment to marriage in the Catholic Church. 

The day finally came, it was COLD, it was January after all in Denver!  We girls got ready one place, the guys another.  All I remember was when the limo came, us girls were ecstatic.   It was the first and only time I had ever been in a limo.  Kinda nice if I do say so myself, but also a bit strange too. 

Got to the Basilica, the ceremony was nice, I did a reading from the Bible, and that was nerve wracking.  My legs were shaking a lot, but I got through it.  The night before, at rehearsal, the priest told me to talk into the microphone, well let's just say I have a booming voice and needed to kick it back a notch.  That was funny to me.  After the wedding and pictures at the Basilica, the wedding party got in the limo, but when it was my turn to get in, no room with everyone else.  I had to ride up front with the limo driver.   And apparently, it's against the law to drink in the front seat, as a passenger, so I didn't get to partake in the toast the party had in the limo.  I was bummed about that. 

Got to the hotel where the reception was held.  And then things got screwed up quick.  Some of the wedding party decided to do some not so good things, and I had to take over as Maid of Honor to make sure everything ran correctly.  I became in charge of all the wedding gifts, and had to get them up to Lisa and Jimmy's room, what a freaking mess!   I was so resentful of all the shenanigans, that I just wanted to leave.  But I hung in there and did what I could do.  I didn't have a ride so had to stay anyways.  Many people gave cards with money (checks and cash) in them and I made sure that got to Lisa safely.   They were on the Presidential suite floor, so had to have their room key to get off that floor on the elevator. 

The night was not a complete mess though.  I loved music a lot then, and I loved to dance too!   I took my dressy shoes off and put on ankle socks and had my own version of a sock hop.   Up by the speakers, where I loved to dance, and I was in a sort of musical Heaven.  I looked around once, no one was on the floor but me, and some were watching me.  I was a little embarrassed, but also glad I could let loose and be myself for a little part of the night.   The food was good, the decorations were nice, and the cake was excellent! 

~~

.... everyone is not as mature as I think God would want us to be.  To do our part, to care for others in a loving way, and to be together in marriage.   People do all sorts of things for selfish reasons, but telling themselves that it was for a noble cause.  I am not innocent of this sort of thing, but it is much different seeing it happen to others you care about, and seeing their life get all in a tangled mess.  The story continues, please hang on for the next installment of this saga.  

NOTE:  power outage at my home today has me posting this off site, and unable to post pics I meant to.   This will be updated when power is restored, for now I have some lessons to post.   Hoping to keep this a fluid blog, even with updates to posts and so much else.  

Unexpected Addition ...

In September 1988, Lisa found out she was pregnant.  Apparently this was not expected.  I was still living with Jimmy and Lisa and I remember the conversation that took place after she found out. 

Lisa had an ovary removed in 1987 when they found a huge ovarian cyst the size of a grapefruit, and of course the cyst and ovary had to be removed together.   For some reason the doctor then implied that she would only have a 50% chance of getting pregnant.  I don't think that really was the case.  But when she found out she was pregnant over a year later, she was a little upset and excited at the same time.  In Jimmy's mind, she had lost her mother and he knew she always wanted children, so I think there was some deception on his part when they had gotten together one evening and he didn't use protection but told her he did.  He wanted her to be happy again, and I guess getting her pregnant was a logical idea to him.

I was excited but annoyed that Jimmy was careless.  This was a new life, something you just don't jump into casually and without thinking all the normal thoughts of how you're going to care for a new one when you barely make enough for what you do have responsibilities for.   And for me, this would mean I would have to move out of the apartment, so the new one could have his or her own room.  And the family to be could be on their own.  Yep, I was a little selfish then, heck I think I was really selfish my entire life spent in Colorado. 

I believe the first thing Lisa did was quit smoking when she learned of her pregnancy.  Good for her.  I know that was difficult.   I don't know that she stayed true to it all the time, but she tried.  Jimmy did not quit smoking, and I am sure I didn't.  Hindsight tells me that everyone should have quit because even secondary smoke is bad for the unborn baby.  The mother-to-be breathes that air and the nasty stuff in the smoke gets into her system just as if she were smoking herself.  

Lisa and I spent time shopping for stuff she'd need, but most of the things she would get at the baby shower thrown in Spring 1989.   She did get a lot of needed things, and her theme for the baby's room was Disney characters.  It was so cute to see. 

Now even though I wasn't a practicing Catholic at the time, and neither were Lisa nor Jimmy, Lisa asked me to be her child's Godmother.  I took this very seriously.  I learned that besides the Christening Gown, the baby to be baptized would need a white stole.  I bought a cross stitch canvas that tears away and created my own design to make the stole.  I sewed a Cross on one end and had to wait until I knew what name they would give the new one before I could embroider the other end with the child's given name. 

Before I could accept the role of Godparent, we thought this over and I decided that I would join a parish in town in case the priest that would baptize the child needed to know this.  I never went to Mass at the parish, but I believe it was called St. James and it was located in Denver.   This was a little deception on my part, but to me I was trying to do the best to meet the role I was taking on, without actually being the best practicing Catholic godparent on the planet.  

Jimmy's Dad was going to be the child's Godfather.  I thought this was odd as a Grandparent already plays a huge role in the child's life, but truly Lisa didn't know many other Catholics, and Jimmy's Dad was a practicing Catholic.   It was just us kids that were not.  I had quit the Church a couple years earlier.  But the teachings of the Church were instilled in my head.  Hard to drum out all that knowledge with 10 years of PSR classes and a former Nun for a mother.  And Catholics all over the place in my family.  Lisa had quit after confirmation, I don't think her Father was a big fan of the Church and insisted his daughters just follow their heart even if that meant quitting the Church. 

Sometime in early 1989, Lisa's obstetrician said that she and Jimmy should learn the Lamaze method of childbirth.  So she signed up to take the classes, but Jimmy wasn't up for any classes.  I don't really remember why.  So I took his place at several classes.  Lisa wanted me there at the birth event, so I had to learn the method.  Very interesting stuff, and she did well at the classes.   But always was upset when Jimmy didn't join her.  He did show a couple times.  

When it got closer to the due date in May 1989, I would come to their apartment and help her practice.  Jimmy wouldn't do that either.  (I had moved out in early 1989 to my own small apartment. We'll discuss this adventure in a future post.)   On May 31st, I came over to the apartment to do the routine but when I got there, all hell broke loose.   First, Jimmy's parents were there, they were all having dinner together, when Lisa's water broke.  However, she didn't realize that was what had happened.  As a matter of fact, she had been in labor all day, but didn't know it.   The pains were not that strong she said.  After she showed me where her water broke, I told her that is what it was and then I ran out and told Jimmy.  He came in the room and stayed with Lisa while I called the doctor to him we were on our way to the hospital. The baby was coming!

Lisa felt there was no time to wait for an ambulance, so they decided Jimmy would drive her to the hospital.   I sat in the back seat and helped keep her calm.   I remember that Jimmy's parents drove separately.  We got Lisa in the car and tried to get her to be as comfortable as possible.  That was entirely difficult.   That baby was shooting to get out!   And then the sky opened up and it started storming and raining hard, and it was a mess to get to the hospital and not be revved up from the nasty weather and the new arrival just minutes from being born! 

We got to the hospital only to find out we were at the wrong entrance!!  More freaking drama and chaos.  Finally Jimmy got to the correct door, we shouted for someone to bring a wheelchair.  The hospital staff took over.  They got Lisa admitted, and got her in a birthing room.  They hooked up heart monitors and all sorts of commotion was going on, I don't remember it all. They checked for the baby's heartbeat, it was big and strong.  It was awesome, this was it!!  Then the nurse said the doctor wasn't there yet.  Dummy me told him the wrong hospital.  I gave the hospital where we had taken Lamaze classes, but Lisa later said that she had chosen to have the baby at another hospital in town.  Ay carumba!   My gosh, I was a nervous ass wreck during this. 

Meanwhile, the nurse also said that Lisa needed to use her Lamaze training, she could not get an epidural because she was already at 10 centimeters...and the baby was nearly starting down the birth canal.   Holy cow Batman!!!  And to my amazement Jimmy stepped in and took over helping Lisa focus on something and do her proper breathing.  I was happy he did that.  She once asked to hold my hand as she fought back the urge to push.  I had to tell her no.  Why?  Because I had memories of two years before when she had to have that surgery to remove her ovary.  She had grabbed my arm while in pain, and after having pushed the button that dosed her with pain meds, and she nearly tore my arm off.  After that, I said no to her ever grabbing my arm while in immense pain.  I cared about Lisa, but geez I still wanted to have an arm too!   LOL

Once the doctor got there, Lisa's Mother-in-law left the room.  She had birthed 4 kids of her own, she said she wasn't interested in being in there while someone else went through all the pain.  I stayed and of course Jimmy stayed.  The doctor gave her the go ahead to push and she did and within minutes, little Anthony James was born!  Only an hour and half lapsed between when Lisa's water broke to when Anthony James made his entrance to the world.  Truly a world record in births, maybe! 

The nurses checked him out head to toe, he was perfect!  I had never seen a live birth before, this was so awesome an event to behold!!!   Then the doctor said he had to stitch Lisa up, she had a pretty good tear at the vaginal opening and needed some stitches.  These would cause a lot of discomfort for several days.   They put Anthony James in her arms and the little family was now complete. 

....  I have never had any children of my own, I find it special in my heart to have been witness to the birth of my Godson.  It was spectacular, and dramatic, and nerve wracking and awesome!!!    I believe everyone should witness the birth of a baby.   It makes you realize how precious life is...and how beautiful every single baby is.  God blessed me with that unique experience.   I was just glad that Anthony James didn't decide to pop out while we were en route in the car to the hospital.   That would have been way too much more drama than any of us could stand.

The new little family

 

 Me holding newborn Anthony James

New Daddy Jimmy holding his son at home

New Mommy Lisa holding Anthony James in his bedroom

More Auntie Sue baby holding time!

 

 

Anthony James Baptism
Priest, Lisa holding Anthony James, Jimmy and Grandpa/Godfather in front

Me behind Lisa

 

 

Priest filling out the baptismal record

And Godmother Sue holding Anthony James again!!

I'd get a lot of time doing that...

 

Adventures In The Mountains ...

In June 1988, Lisa, Jimmy and I travelled up to Estes Park, driving I-70 past the Coors plant in Boulder, checking out a Lookout spot. It was the most fun weekend I remember we ever had.  

Jimmy loved to fish, so I believe that is why we went to Estes Park.  That was the prettiest park with a lake I have ever seen in my life.  I don't recall me catching anything, though I tried.   I do remember there being a water moccasin in the lake near where Jimmy was fishing.  I was freaking out.  At that time I hated even seeing a snake, I had a severe snake phobia then.  It never got on the bank where we were, but I kept a distance from that sucker. 

We didn't stay long at Estes Park, just long enough to smell the fresh mountain air and see the blue sky.  I loved being in the mountains, so different from my suburban home back in Missouri.   Where I am from is quite humid in the Summer and Colorado is anything but humid.  Instead of air conditioners as I am used to, they had swamp coolers.  They might look similar, but where air conditioners aim to remove humidity in the air, swamp coolers put humidity back in the air.  This is important, because too dry of air can give one sinus problems, and for me I got bloody noses a lot the first few months I lived there.

Now I am not 100% sure what camp ground we ended up going to for the weekend, but I do know that it was over 11,000 feet up in altitude.  Things are a little different that far up, little less oxygen and that has a weird affect on some.  Also it seems like you can touch the starts up that high.  And the sun is bearing down on you differently than at lower elevations like in St Louis. 

We found a campsite, pitched a tent and started a campfire.  Jimmy was really good at starting the fires and barbecuing as well.  We had plenty to eat, some adult beverages to consume, and Jimmy liked telling stories so he told us a freaky story.  I myself was a little weird from the word go as a child, in that I was fascinated with fires.  My dad used to make them in the BBQ pit and then wave his hands over the fire, as to look like they were going to be confused.  Jimmy didn't do that but his fire was good and roaring and putting off a lot of heat.  And I just the loved the look of it and the sound of the crackling it made. 

While we had the fire going so well, I hadn't noticed that the temperature was dropping .... really low.  When we had gotten there in the middle of the day it was probably in the 80s in Denver, but 70s or so in the Mountains.  At the campsite, apparently it had dropped into the 40s.  Can you say freezing?  We finally turned in for the night, Jimmy and Lisa in one huge sleeping bad, me in my own.  But by the middle of the freezing cold night, I had to join them, because it was SO darn cold, I was suffering a bit from hypothermia.  I couldn't sleep and we all three huddled together until the sun broke.  We put everything in the car and drove back down the hill.   And that is when my first ordeal with the changing elevation affected my ears .... really bad.   

My ears popped a lot coming down, and they were hurting so much.  When we got back home, I wasn't feeling well.  I eventually had to go see a doctor and have him check to see what the heck was going on there.  I found out I had a sinus infection and a blocked ear drum, that was what was causing the pain.  Jimmy had tried to help me by putting some oil in my ear, but that didn't help, and it was a little too warm to bear in my sensitive ear.  I was lucky that without medical insurance I could find a doctor that wouldn't charge me too much to be seen.  When I was in my early 20s, insurance wasn't anything I ever really worried about.   That of course changed as the years rolled on.   

~~~~~

Another time we went up in the mountains but this time it was in the winter.  We went up there and hung around Dillon Colorado.   Someone Lisa knew had a cabin or something like that up there that we girls would stay at.  One night we found a bar at the bottom of one of the ski slopes near Vale and I watched out the window at the skiers coming down the mountain and then they'd get on a ski lift to go back up and do it all again.  I couldn't ski, I had the weakest ankles.   Me and gizmos like skis wouldn't get along anyways, I was a known klutz with athletic equipment.  LOL.   But that was a pretty fun time, it was cold and snowy and slick outside.  Seems I was worried the entire drive we might slip off the mountain roads and head to our untimely deaths off the mountainside.  Obviously that didn't happen....I'm here to write about it.   

~~~~

Another time we went to Red Rocks Amphitheater, which is a venue carved out of the mountains in Morrison CO, where of course the Earth is red and rocky.  I don't remember who we saw, but it was most certainly a rock group of some sort.  I would be up there again a few years later and it looked the same.  At that time Lisa took me there and we saw Tesla and someone that opened for them.  Up until this point I had always thought it was Lifehouse, but I did some Internet searches and found that was not the case.  Could have been Poison, they did tour with Tesla back then.  I remember that back in 1992 I was more interested in Country music, so I wasn't thrilled with Lisa's music choice for a musical evening out, but in the end it was a fun time, and that Amphitheater has awesome acoustics!   

~~~~

The only other visit to the mountains I remember was with my bosses family when I worked at BMW Financial.   He had a cabin in the mountains outside of Aspen.  His daughter Coleen drove us up there and we enjoyed a night of dinner, drinking and stories.  And that the only bathroom was an outhouse.  Was that ever interesting for this "city" girl.   The roads winded and winded around slowly up that mountain, it was the most interesting drive I remember.   At points only one car could go up or down at a time on the road.  I would never have driven that....not then, not now.  Heights and narrow roads are not my friends.   :-)  

~~~~

.....thinking about times gone by and the many adventures I had had back then, I often wonder why I never wrote about these then.   It surely would have made remembering things now a bit easier.  But when you are young, as I was then, you often just live life and don't think about the future.  You think you are invincible, and not going to die, and not going to get old.  What silliness that all is!   We all have to die, most of us age and age until we get pretty old before that happens.  Why not write down some things for prosperity and for memory's sake?   You never know if you're going to want to write an autobiography or a blog for all to read.    And there is STILL more to share.  Keep on reading. 

  

One of my pics taken circa 1987 or 1988 in foothills of the Rockies. 

Love those red rocks!

Omission Of Mistakes....

I'm pausing again, this time to state that I am skipping a few stories from my life in Colorado.  Telling my part of the story, what I did wrong or went adrift in life, is not the problem.  The issue is that I don't wish to bring up every fault and failing of others.  I have tried to only state small transgressions of others, nothing so over the top that would create controversy here.  Other people's lives are always involved in a story when they meet your life in the story.   So consideration of how they might feel to have their past broadcast here is important to me.  I have to state some things, otherwise there could be no story to be said.  But I try very hard to choose my wording carefully.   

I am putting my reputation out there, that is my choice.  That was my choice from the beginning with this blog.   The couple of years in Colorado I am discussing now were eventful nearly all the time.  It was the biggest learning time in my life...   I wasn't a saint, I wasn't always helpful, and I certainly wasn't always selfless in considering my motives of things.  It took me a long time to get beyond me, my wants, my manipulations, my concerns, my self-centeredness.  And truth be told, living in Colorado was just one big saga of me being concerned about me, and running away from growing up really.  

So with that being said, I promise to tell you of some of the more interesting parts of my experience.   I do enjoy trying to remember some of the details.  And where I cannot recall timing or exact details, I do my best.   

....take small steps when wandering into sensitive areas.  Each step you make will affect someone else or something else.  There are more stories of Colorado, hang there, and see what comes next.

 

Tragedy Amongst Us....

Lisa's parents both smoked and both drank wine every night.  I think they were very close.  Her mom was an excellent cook, her dad was a good man and could fix anything.  He worked at TWA and could fix anything, and did his own car maintenance.  The family drove all the different models of Oldsmobile vehicles.  That was a pretty good manufacturer back in the 80s from what I recall.  There was routine every time I visited, and I just had to follow Lisa's lead because the whole thing was so different from the way I was raised. 

Now you have to understand Lisa's mom was very old school and very strict about a lot of things.  Things I was not used to at all.  She adamantly expected everyone living in her home and all her guests to remove their shoes at either door before walking anywhere in her home.   This was as foreign a concept to me as was speaking German, Lisa's Mother's native tongue.  I got reprimanded a few times for not doing this.  Lisa was the one that taught me this rule.  I was always tip toeing around like I was on eggshells walking in that house. 

There was the living room of all white furniture, never allowed to use that room until one Christmas.  It was a room to show off nice décor and I think her collection of things in a curio cabinet.  I was in shock when we got to go in that room, sit on the floor and exchange Christmas gifts one year.

Sometime I think in 1986 Lisa's parents made arrangements for the 3 of them to fly to Germany and stay there for a couple weeks.  They asked me to take care of their home, and their poodle dog Brandy.  I did.  I got to stay there and sleep in the guest bedroom.  I listened to their stereo and just enjoyed myself.  No one but my family knew I was staying there.  No one bothered me, and me and Brandy got along okay.  She was a cranky dog sometimes.  I remember watching MTV videos and seeing Whitney Houston sing some of her best songs.  And George Harrison sing "I Got My Mind Set On You."   I always have songs to remember certain events, this was a one that reminded me of that time.  

In 1987, Lisa's Mom had to be in the hospital for tests.   I went to visit her.  I don't know what they found then.   I don't know what symptoms she had been having, but I knew that Lisa being my best friend, I had to visit her mother in the hospital.  I think she was glad I came by.  I just wasn't the most comfortable in new situations then. 

After I moved to Aurora, CO, in March 1988, Lisa got the worst news from her Dad.  Her Mom had been diagnosed with terminal cancer.  Pancreatic cancer.   Lisa flew back home to ST Louis to see her mom.  She said that her mom wanted to take her shopping and ended up picking out a nice dress.  It was black.   Her mom looked thinner than she remembered her being.  I think the prognosis was 3-6 months to live.  Her dad worked to find a treatment center that could help prolong her life, it was in Houston.  Lisa's mom died before the arrangements could be made to do that.  She was only 56.  

The morning her mother died, we got a call early in the morning from her Dad that she had passed over night.  She had gotten up to use the restroom and collapsed.  She was all but 90 pounds or so.  Since Lisa's Dad worked for the airlines, she got to travel for only $10 a flight on standby.  Sometimes that meant waiting for a flight that had at least one seat left.  She and her sister flew out for the funeral.   It was the saddest time in my life.  Jimmy gave Lisa an Alf doll to put in her Mother's casket, he knew she loved Alf.  She was like Jimmy's 2nd mom. 

This was in June 1988.   During this same Spring 3 of my relatives had passed within a couple months of each other.  My Dad lost two of his sister's Peggy and Doris, and Mom lost her oldest brother Cyril.  I missed all the funerals.   My brother latter wrote me and said it was a pretty depressing time.  And mom must have gotten tired of going to a funeral about every other week.  But she went to all four of them, I do believe.  

.....death is a part of life.  Some believe it is just the beginning to a new life.   Those left to mourn their loss sometimes have to spend a long time sorting through their feelings about the loved one lost, some move on quite quickly after a short mournful time.  Each of us has a different relationship and different emotional sense about such things.   There really is no right or wrong length of time to mourn someone.  More to come about the after effects of Lisa's Mom's death to come. 

New Home, New Jobs ...

Now that I was in Denver, things had to be done.  I had to find a job.  Jimmy and Lisa were supportive and didn't push me into getting a job or worry about paying for anything until I did.  I think I got a job 2 weeks after moving out there.  Now I don't recall the exact order of the jobs I had, but I do remember some incidents while there, worth noting. 

At one point I worked part-time at Kmart, where Jimmy's Mom worked.  Let me say this unequivocally.  I HATED THAT JOB!  I didn't like standing on my feet all day in one spot and there was no time to meet other coworkers and get to know anyone.  This was back in the day before sliding credit cards through card readers.  This was the time when you had to get the credit card machine and a carbon form and slide the gizmo over to imprint the card info on the form.   Very time consuming for customers to wait, and if you messed up any of it, you had to do it over.   You had to call a number to make sure the card was valid.  I got plenty of denials...aggravating that's all I can say. 

Later on while still at Kmart, I got a second part time job with a real estate company, working as the receptionist.  My schedule was set up where I worked a Kmart in the morning, and the real estate office in the afternoon.  Why the RE office didn't want a full time receptionist, I don't know.  But in the morning Evelyn would be in the office.   I'd take over for her and things rolled on along.  Now, I cannot say I hated this job, but it wasn't the most efficient place.  Real estate agents coming and going, and giving me notes about things I had to remember.   I had to print off MLS records of new listings, and I had to do a lot of other things. 

The big problem came after I was there maybe 2 or 3 months, when Evelyn came through my line at Kmart one day.  I had no idea why she was at the store I worked at.  I don't think she lived anywhere around there.   But one day I had mentioned to her that I got paid every Friday in cash.  Why Kmart did that, I don't know.  Why I told her that, I don't remember.   So one day I showed up at the RE office on a Friday, put my purse in the drawer next to Evelyn's and then went to retrieve some MLS reports off the fax machine.  I came back and Evelyn was leaving.  Didn't think a thing about it, until later.  I went in my purse sometime later in the day and realized my income from Kmart, the cash I earned from the prior week's work, was gone!  Now I knew good and well I didn't actually see anyone take it.  But Evelyn was the only person in the office up at the receptionist desk during the short period of time I was away from the desk.  My thought was she took it.  I went to my boss in private and mentioned that I suspected she took my money, figuring he'd help find out.  Well, was I ever wrong!   The next day after he had spoken with Evelyn, I was surprisingly LET GO!  I was stunned and livid!   The president gave me my final check and said I was not needed anymore. 

The next day, Evelyn calls my home saying SHE was sorry that I was let go.  I told her that I thought she was the one that took my money, she of course denied it.  Then for the top shocker of them all, she told me that she had gotten hired to work FULL TIME at the office.  When I got hired a couple months prior, they told me they didn't want a Full Time person cause they'd have to pay full benefits, now they hired her, after she possibly stole from me.  I felt like I had been kicked in the gut and then stomped on.   I hadn't done anything wrong, in my mind.  I accused her of stealing from me, and I get fired?   What the Hell?

******
Another job I had was working at Silo, with Lisa.  Which was very convenient.  We rode together, she taught me my work, and I got to meet a bunch of fun and interesting people.   We had to enter purchase orders and invoices into their computer system, and periodically do inventory.  I did like this job a lot.  It was more up my alley of work, and it provided me with good money to live off of.  I actually worked for a Temp Company, Lisa actually worked for Silo.   They told me my assignment was for 6months to possibly permanent.  So I wished and wished it would turn to permanent.  It did not.  But I enjoyed the camaraderie amongst the crew I worked with while there.  The one person that stands out to me was Tony.  He was gay.  But a funny gay guy at that.  Everyone loved Tony!   He made the room light up with his awesome humor and his knowledge about so many things.  He'd hang around all us girls and just have us cracking up, every time.  I love that about work environments.   Laughter is so much needed in the business environment, when stress is at an all time high, laughter helps chill the mood.  And it is always contagious.  :-)


******
I had one job that didn't last long and it was a 2nd shift position.  I started at 3:30pm and got off at Midnight.  It was working with student loan applications and loading information about each student and loan in a system.  That was it!   The most boring job I had ever had in my life.  Thank god it didn't last long, I found a full time job as a data entry person in a CPA firm.   This would be the job that I loved the most and hung with the rest of my time while living in Denver. 

The company was called BMW Financial Inc.  Had nothing to do with the car manufacturer BMW.  Instead those are the initials of the last names of the 3 owners of the company.  The office crew was small, I believe 7 or 8.   And we shared office space with another company, though I have no idea what those folks did.  Their receptionist was the first person anyone would see. Yours truly was in the far back office, entering data for each account we had, everyday. 

I loved this job because I was like a bookkeeper in training.  It was mellow enough that we were allowed to listen to a radio all day, and busy enough that I never got bored.  And challenging enough that I got to use the really cool IBM computer to create new forms for the clients that needed them.   I was in a place that let me create, do work that involved a lot of math, and did not have too many distractions to upset my balance, so to speak.  Jim's daughter Coleen worked there.  She was sometimes a pill and half.  She was married to a guy from Pakistan I think and they had a little boy.  And Jim's wife would stop in every so often.  She made me nervous for some reason.   Deana was the lone woman owner, and she wasn't there the whole of my employment there.  She ended up with some severe headaches but not sure what from.  She ended up selling her part of the company to Jim and the other male owner (name escapes me) and leaving.   She's the one that hired me and so I was sad to see her go. 

Diane was the actual bookkeeper.  She sat in another room, connected to the one I was in.  She was a force and a half.  I was at BMW for a little over a year, until I left Denver and moved back to Missouri.  Diane left the company before I did.  She got offered a job somewhere else, by one of our clients, and took her Rolodex with her, and attempted to convince many of our clients to go with her new company.  Some did.  Of course the owners were pissed with that whole thing.  It got a little tense in the office when all of this went down.  

Cindy was our lone sales person....garnering new accounts all the time.  She was in the office sporadically, and I have to say I loved Cindy!  She had 2 kids both of which that were allergic to wheat.  I heard and learned a lot about how difficult it was (back in 1989) to find foods that kids could eat that were Gluten Free.  She explained how long it took to figure this was the reason for her kids constant illnesses.  That had always made an impression on me, surely why I remember that story until now.  She was a good Mama and a good Sales person. 

At some point Lisa, my roomie, lost her job at Silo.  My boss was looking for another data entry clerk, I think I mentioned the opening to her and she came on board.  This was one of my biggest mistakes.  But to understand why, you'd have to hear the story of how Lisa ticked.   It didn't take me long to realize I shouldn't have told her about the job.  I know she needed a job, for many good reasons, but working with one's closest friend can have repercussions at home and in the work place.    Something to talk about in my next post.  



.....  when you go off on your own for the first time, things are new and fresh, and sometimes so thrilling you don't see all the ramifications of your new choices and new options.  Where some things seem logical, other things seem to interfere with your plans.  And some things come out of nowhere to upset the whole life you had created.   I had plenty of that type of thing going on while living in Denver.  Plenty.  And you'll just have to read on more to find out what else went on.   These were the days of much of my life's learning.....

First job in Aurora Co

 

 

Aurora on a map, East of Denver proper