Hobbies and Imagination ...

I had a zest for art, colors, and music for as long as I can remember.   I have already mentioned many things I loved to do, but as I write this blog more memories pop up that I want to record here.  

I remember when we used to get the JC Penney Christmas Catalog and even Sears and Montgomery Ward catalogs.  When I was a kid I would go through them and write down what I wanted Santa to bring me for Christmas.  There always was a Crayola art set on my list, sometimes a doll, but mostly art and science stuff.  

When I got older and didn't really have a mile long list of of things I wanted, I got a little more adventurous and used my imagination.  I would pretend that I had $1 Million dollars and I wanted to fill my dream home with things.  I would go through the catalogs, not the Christmas ones, but just the regular ones and write down things I would like to furnish my home with or things I would like to have....in my closets and just every room of the house.  I'd write the article and price and how many of each...even colors if I wanted various colors of the same thing.  It was a fascinating way for me to use my imagination, and THINK of what things I wanted that would actually fit my taste and the size of home I would have.  I never finished the list....I knew that my wish list was just a dream, but in the beginning it was fun to go through the catalogs and dream...

When I was in High School I often got books on handwriting analysis, personality analysis, and all kinds of things on arts and crafts.  I taught myself calligraphy and always had the pens to do that sort of thing.  While working at the library, I would check out books on all sorts of things.  I learned to macrame hanging basket holders...made a few for my Mom.  I read many different fictional books, mostly stuff from Judy Blume and V.C. Andrews.  Sometimes I read about psychology and sometimes I got books on poetry. 

I used to write poetry a lot.  I know I have most of it in storage but I don't ever get it out anymore to read what was in all those poems.  I loved poems to rhyme.  I tried writing limericks, they'd get silly.   I tried writing haiku's, but they don't necessarily rhyme, and they are so blasted short for my taste.  I read Edgar Allen Poe's poetry, and my sister and I spent time together one season memorizing his poem "Annabel Lee,"  It was easy to learn because of the rhyme and meter to it.  I have no idea why we both thought that was a cool poem to memorize.  I tried to remember the stanzas of "The Raven" but that one was a little too long for me.   Dad liked that poem.  I believe I kept the book on Edgar Allen Poe's works, it reminds me of Dad, and one good memory of my Sister, and his stories, though creepy, were interesting to me. 

I got a Kodak Disc camera when I was in high school, and took pictures all the time.  I loved going to the park and taking sunset pictures.  I would mail my pictures off to York Color Labs and pay a lot less than at the stores that did the same thing.   It would take longer to get them back, but I loved doing it nonetheless.   That little camera was my closest friend and took 15 pictures on the round disc it used for film.   I never did learn how to use a 35mm camera, the ones with the bells and whistles and different telephoto lenses and all that.  But it was always on my catalog wish list.  LOL

Think of a gizmo that kids played with, and I probably played with it.  My all time favorite gizmo was the Rubik's Cube.  I got really really good at that thing.  I still have one somewhere, but I would have to read the directions again to memorize the different moves to get a piece in a position to the side I wanted it to be.  It can be complicated at first, I got so good with it, I liked to show people, if they had the time and patience to watch me do it.  My friends Shan and Tricia, their Aunt's Sara and Theresa, would love to watch me do that thing.  I have a Christmas card from them in the past 10 years where they mention that too.  So funny that they remembered that one thing from my past.  Good memories those two!

And when my stuff was boring to play with, I would go tinker with my brothers stuff.  He had an Erector Set and I loved to help build stuff with that.  Heck I loved playing with Lego's, Lincoln Logs, and even now mentioned recently to my husband about finding some Lego kits and building stuff with them like I used to do.  He always looks at me funny when I mention playing with TOYS, but I just shrug him off.  I think toys are fun no matter what your age.  The building sets are good for manual dexterity, 3d imaginings and they do have all those lovely bright COLORS!

.....when you have nothing else to do, you can always use your imagination and play, and be a kid for a day!   Parents and adults sometimes forget that all this play and dreaming is calming on the nerves and serves a body well....and keeps you young.  My life needed more of this fun .... but it would be a while before I got back to it.  

Music quote...

Business School, Turning 21 and Changes Galore ....

So much was going on in my life in 1986 and 1987, it is downright nutty to try to decide what to mention first. I think I will 'start at the very beginning', like Maria sings in "The Sound of Music." :)

Sanford-Brown had a jobs notice board. I decided to try to find a part time job while going to Business School. I got hired on after passing their test at Western Union. The telegram company. The Internet hadn't yet become a public useful thing at the time, people still sent telegrams everyday as well as money to people in need. I learned real quick this place monitored EVERYTHING you did.  You had to get a time card and punch it on the wall, when you started your work, when you got up to use the restroom or take your break, when you came back from break, and at the end of your shift.  You were allotted so much time based on your hours worked for restroom breaks.  If you went over that, you were docked.  If you took a longer break than allotted, same thing, docked for the overage. 
No one really came to you and spoke to you once you entered the room where all the computer terminals were.   You were an Operator number and nothing more.  I did not like this.   I worked there for about a year, and only as a means to make money.  I made no friends there, and because it could be stressful, I started smoking...  

The stress came from the pushing to have everyone sell things that cost more than the average fee of sending a telegram.   And they monitored your phone calls.  I don't know how they did that with over 100 employees spread out in at least 4 rooms of terminals, but they did.  The 4 rooms I remember shared one corner from each butted together, and in that area there was a monitoring station with a couple people working, every day, every minute.   This company ran 24/7, 365 days a year.  I worked 25-30 hours a week at first, just enough to keep me busy but below full time status.  To get on full time there involved politicking.  Which I never got into.  You had to have recommendations from other full timers or from management.  Well having never really gotten to know anyone there, that wasn't going to happen, and the longer I stayed, the more I hated it, so in my mind why would I ever want to be their FULL TIME.  They charged union dues, even if you didn't technically belong to the union.  I never understood that, but they docked me a set amount on every time card for it.   I believe I was making $6 a hour back then, which was nice.  All my summer jobs before only paid minimum wage, $3.35/hr.  I had no true benefits, so I had to get medical insurance on my own. 

Some time while into working at WU, 2 days per week got slashed off my work schedule, so I dropped to 15-18 hours a week.   To fill in the income gap, I found a job with Emerson Electric.  It was fun there, but the biggest problem was that the Union workers were all on strike, and no one knew when they'd return.  I only worked at EE 2 days a week for a month and they had to let me go because the strike was preventing them from getting the workload to keep me busy.  That sucked, because I really enjoyed that kind of job.  But I don't specifically remember what I did there....it was too short a run.   I just remembered there were nice people and it was kinda interesting to walk past the work stations the union members would work at building whatever it was they built.   I think it was parts for airplanes.

I don't think I ever found any other place that would work with my schedule to work only 2 days a week.  So by early 1987 I was looking again for full time employment.  I found that at Bob Schultz Motorcycle Supermarket. 

They actually had 2 stores, and sold more than just motorcycles, and parts for them.  They also sold John Deere and White lawn equipment.  They sold 3 wheel ATVs, which over time became a problem with the amount of dangerous stunts and accidents people had, so they slowly started selling 4 wheel ATVs.  My job was to help do all the paperwork, including getting financing for those wishing to finance their purchases rather than pay cash.  Although most of the ATVs and bikes were less than $5,000, most people chose to finance.  There were dozens of forms to have filled out before the purchaser came to sign.  My biggest problem wasn't the work, it was the manager/owner.  He was a very aggravating and sometimes downright nasty person to work with. 

I got the job after showing some backbone in convincing him that I was worth more than just minimum wage.  Although he advertised the position as minimum wage position, I talked him up to $4 an hour.  I had made $6.50 an hour when I left Western Union, but that was for part time work, this was full time and not likely to have cut hours.  So he agreed to the pay rate if I showed him I could be dependable and do the work.  I was and I did.  Until one day when he wasn't there, and I was doing the closing with a purchaser.   The guy asked how the bike went from $3500 on the sales floor to over $5000 at closing.  I was trained to "fudge" how that happens....I didn't like the magical trick of lying to people.  Instead of pointing to the final sales price, I was to tell them them monthly payment and this guy wasn't budging and wasn't signing.  The salesman got all nervous and didn't want to lose the sale, he only got paid commission on the number of bikes he sold (maybe too on John Deere's, I don't know).  He called Bill the boss and Bill asked to talk with me, and proceeded to yell at the top of his lungs at me over the phone, I became totally unnerved and started freaking out, and dropped the phone and went into a closet and cried.  I had never been treated so badly by an employer in all my life up to then. 

I wanted to quit but couldn't find anything in the paper advertised where I met the qualifications for.  I was so confused, and really avoided being around Bill when he came to the office after that.  I don't recall if he ever apologized for his treatment towards me.  He was such a nasty person at times, and then when he wasn't that, he would say things that would make any woman feel uncomfortable.  Not TO them, just about women in general.  Stupid things.  I learned a lot that year, that was for sure.  I did have good times with the other ladies in the office.  Donna and Joyce were wonderful to me.  I worked a couple times at the other store, which had a different ambiance altogether. 

During this time is when Lisa and I had visited Colorado.  About a month after that she decided she had to move back to Colorado and wanted me to come.  She was working at a car rental place at the airport and found she could easily transfer out to their office in Denver.  Good for her.   But I couldn't do that.  She left me behind until she could find a suitable apartment for me to move to live with her.  That was the plan anyways. I began saving my money and boxing up my stuff to have sent out there ahead of me. 

I turned 21 that year.   Which was a blessing and a curse.  I was now legal to go to any dance club I wanted, but now my friend who got me involved in dance night's out was in Denver.  I hung around some friends from high school, Carmen and Michelle.  We hung with some guys one of them knew, and went horseback riding at Creve Coeur Park.  We had a lot of good times.. but when I turned 21 I felt the weight of being taken advantage of.   Carmen kept bugging me to purchase alcohol for them to take to a party or somewhere, and I refused.  I remember that feeling to this day how that felt.  I remember that was pretty much the end of the partying and hanging around with them.  And I never saw Carmen again, not for a VERY long time. 

I decided to keep my mind on moving to Denver in the Spring of 1988....and for all the changes yet to come in my life from that point on.

....when you are young and free to do as you wish, the world opens up and seems inviting and ominous at the same time.  Being naïve is normal when you are young, you haven't learned the outside world and how it truly ticks.   But naivety also comes with some warnings.   Whatever you thought you knew, that you learned from your family, may not be how everyone else lives and does their lives.  It's in the coming of age that we truly learn what kind of people we are, what kind of ethics we have and what kind of life we want to live.  Sometimes we grow, sometimes we freeze out of fear, and sometimes we take risks....and realize good or bad can result.  I had a lot of those kinds of lessons in life.  Read on, things get complicated really quick next. 

The horse I was on at Creve Coeur Park

I took the picture, ergo, not in the picture!

 

Michelle on her horse - more experienced rider !

 

 

Chris, Michelle, and Carmen with guy I don't recall name of

 

Don and Glenn, salesmen at Bob Schultz

Christmas party 1987

 

 

Joyce and her husband at Christmas Party 1987

Music Part I ....

Hey I wanted to explain the meaning of music in my life up through my teenage years. 

Music was always a part of my life as it probably was with a lot of people my age back then.  I would listen when I was alone mostly.  One of my favorite memories was when I was by myself, with a handheld transitor radio, and listening to Wings' "Let'em In."  It was a bright sunny day, I had nothing to do but listen to that radio, and when that song came on hearing Paul McCartney singing, I felt free as a leaf in the air.  That memory has a pleasing affect on my mood....if I but settle my mind to think and remember it. 

My cousin Kathy introduced to some rock music styles to me back in the early 70s.  I remember being in her bedroom and she turned on some music and I was in some sort of Heaven.  I learned that I liked all kinds of music over the years.  My Dad had some record albums I would play all the time.   One was the White Album by Johnny Cash.  I learned a lot about Cash's style of country music.  That stuff would stay with me all my life. 

Dad had some Surfer dude music too.  Maybe that was Mom's taste.   When I was 10 my Mom decided that she was going to join the Columbia House music entity.  There you would pick out 6 albums on cassette and get one free and be required to buy a few more.  Each of us got to pick out what we wanted to listen to.  Dave picked Elvis Presley's greatest hits.  I picked out Captain & Tennille's album "Love Will Keep Us Together", Mom picked one of the Beach Boy's albums, not sure what Sandy picked out but I remember Debbie Boone's "You Light Up My Life" was one, and so was one of John Denver's albums.  We all listened to these albums all the time.  I got a cassette player for Christmas soon after we got these and had a blast with that.

We went on vacations and I took the player and the cassettes and played them all the time, even under my pillow when I went to bed.  I was crazy in love with music of all kinds.  

We got Shaun Cassidy's album that had "Da Doo Ron Ron" on it.  Played that thing until it was unplayable I am sure. All the girls in the neighborhood came to our house to listen to music.  And we once created a dance choreographed to some of his songs.  All the girls raved about how cute Shaun Cassidy was.  It is a fun memory of mine.  

Until we got a stereo with cassette player, I used to record onto cassette anything I liked playing on the radio.  Had to lean the cassette player up to the radio and hope no one made any noise in the background.  I even recorded the entire movie "The Sound of Music" that way and replay all the cassettes, as it took more than one, under my pillow, memorizing lines in the movie and all the songs sung.  

Finally we got a stereo with cassette player/recorder.  I spent many nights and weekends when nothing else was going on, with headphones on and recording my favorite tunes on cassettes.  I got pretty knowledgeable about brands of cassette tapes and how many songs I typically could record on one side, and judge it so I didn't have a lot of wasted space at the end of any side.  Always listening to Casey Kasem's "American Top 40" on Saturday morning radio.   And with the stereo cassette recorder, you didn't have to worry about background noise, it only recorded what was broadcast on the station.  I used to clean the house and let it record things and then back up the tape and record over anything I didn't want.  Yes I was the geeky freak about recording music, in high school. 

Ah, and then the next favorite thing I used to do, when no one was home, was play the music I like and pretend I was on stage and sing aloud and pretend I was performing.  I mostly liked to pretend I was the lead singer, but sometimes I liked to sit and pretend I was playing the drums too.  I loved to pretend I was doing a benefit concert and money made at the event would go to support a charity....   That's just how I always thought I would like to use any talent I had like that.   And truth be told, all these years later, on occaision when my husband isn't home, I will do this sometimes.  Not much dancing anymore, the ole back is not what it used to be.  But singing and pretending to be on stage, yeah, still do that sometimes.  I believe this is the first and only time I am admitting I do this.  LOL

We teeangers would debate a lot which radio station was the best.  There were the KSHE95 followers, and the KWK followers.  Me, I have always been a radio dialer....when a comerical came on, I would dial into some other station, I just wanted tunes to play.  I still do that now, but technology is different...so that is not always an issue anymore.  I'll pick up that topic in a later post.   KSHE is still on the air....that station is as old as me, but KWK has been long gone.  We have The ARCH now in its place.  I like both still...but The ARCH plays more genres than just Rock and Roll as KSHE still does.  And the classical station is not on the main stations, you need HD radio....yeah, I have more to talk about that whole issue later.  LOL

My first car didn't have a cassette player in it, which was an ultimate bummer.  I purchased a portable player to listen in the car that way, but driving on the highway made so much noise, couldn't really hear it.  Then my Dad started borrowing my portable recorder, after he went back to work and I ended up giving it to him.  It made him happy to listen while making biscuits or whatever he was making in the morning at the restaurant.  I always thought that was funny, him liking to listen like I did.  Now I think that was really neat, I was like him that way....loving music.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

Movies of the 80s....

Well movies were a big thing in my life in the 80s, when I had the money to see them.   Here are some of my favorites. 

Bill Murray was excellent in this movie! 

 

 

 

Who didn't want to know what it would be like to travel in time or drive a cool looking car?

My favorite of the Indiana Jones series!

 

 

 

                    I loved the love story and the empowerment this movie showed us.

"Wax on, Wax off!"

 

Matthew Broderick at his cutest and cleverest!

 

 

 

My most favorite coming of age musical movie ever! 

 

 

 

My second most favorite coming of age movie musical,

but my most favorite Swayze movie by far!

I still cry when I watch this one now. 

 

 

This one is just weird and from the brat pack! 

 



TV Pop Culture ....

Okay, still gearing up to write more on my life's journey, thought I would post a little bit of pop culture on you.    These were TV shows I watched at the time (1980s).     

 

My favorite cop show of all time

 

 

 

Many sitcoms were the mainstay of my evenings

Diff'rent Strokes would be one of them

 

 

 

 

And yes, I owned a Tshirt with this very saying on it. 

Wore it proudly for a while.  LOL 

 

 

 

 

And then there was daytime drama, John & Marlena on "Days of Our Lives"

 

 



Pause For Hope Amid Tragedy ...

Just a pause today in my story a bit, to reflect on some things :

When I was out visiting in Denver in 1987, where I stayed was Aurora, Colorado.  Yes the one that was in the news in July 2012 when some guy with guns ablazin' went into a movie theater and shot arbitrarily into the crowd killing 12 and injuring 58 others. 

I later moved to Aurora Colorado, I'll get to that in a later post.  I know where Littleton Colorado is too.  The scene of the Columbine school shooting in April 1999.     Lisa's Dad would eventually move back to the Denver area and reside in Littleton. 

These days it seems there is tragedy and violence in places I was familiar with but from another time and definitely with other feelings about them.  I have mixed emotions about the part of my life that involved Denver and Aurora.  But none of that compares to the anguish people have lived through in those very same towns - since I have been back in my hometown these past 24 years - with violent acts it seems occurring every year or so.  I keep thinking when will this stuff end?

This week we had another terrible tragedy, this time at the Boston Marathon.  I have never been to Boston but I know friends and family that either reside near there or went to Boston University some time ago.  I cannot imagine what they are feeling this week as the reports of 2 suspected bombers were on the loose in their area.  3 were killed and many suffered horrible loss of limbs and injuries no one wants to view on TV.  It happened at a marathon of all things.  The first thing I said at work was, "You cannot do anything anymore, even run a race, without someone messing it up".   I know that doesn't fully state the anxiety I felt....I really added to that some colorful language I wish not to reiterate here.  

I wanted to post my favorite prayer here, as I try to gather up my thoughts for the next week of posts about a time that was full of all kinds of things, good and bad.   I want to leave a little bit of hope for anyone that knows someone that was killed in any act of violence, here or abroad, in their hometown or while visiting elsewhere.  It is like negative energy is running amok and I need to quell that negativity growing inside myself.  For today, I want to find a glimmer of  peace, of love, of shelter from the storms around us, literally and figuratively. 

 

The Peace Prayer of St. Francis

 

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved, as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive.

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Amen.

 

 

 



Circles Of Friends ...

I met a lot of people in Business School, but the main person I became very close to was Lisa R.  She introduced me to tons of people over the course of our friendship. Now honestly I cannot remember the order of when some things happened but I'll do my best to tell the stories as best I can remember.  

First was Lisa S.  Lisa S.'s father owned a car dealership in the Metro area.  I never met her parents but I did meet her brothers.  I recall going to a lake, possibly The Lake of the Ozarks, and swimming off a dock and drinking.  I know the older brother of Lisa S. was there.  But there were several people there I didn't know.  I could swim fine but I was afraid of lakes and rivers that were deep that I couldn't see the bottom of.  Oh that was a huge fear of mine.  I just stayed near the dock for fear of floating out too far and being bounced around in the waves when boats would fly by.  I just stayed around Lisa R. and listened to the goings on.  I was a bit out of my element being around so many people I didn't know and with guys around.  I always felt like it was mandatory to be flirting with guys ... and I just didn't know how to do that yet.

There was Kelly and her husband and family.  Lisa R. and I probably spent several weekends hanging with them.  Lisa met Kelly at a place she worked.  I remember attending Kelly's wedding reception and that they had a macaw, huge bird.   I always was fascinated by the talking birds of the parrot family.  Kelly and her husband had a lot of issues, and I don't know whatever happened to them. 

Lisa R. was known for trying to help others any way she could.  She loved to see married couples get along, and she LOVED with a Capital "L" children!  Anyone that had a little one, she was all over it.  I loved kids too, I just wasn't as open with new ones I was introduced to, they always seemed a little scared of me.  Lisa also loved animals, particularly dogs I believe.  Anyone who had a dog, big or small, she showed affection towards.  I was not particularly keen to large dogs, as I had gotten bit by a dog when I was a child and bigger dogs just intimidated me. 

Lisa R. was a person of great emotion.  She was dating Greg when I met her.  He was a very unique and loveable person.  He had a wonderful talent in art, especially with his drawing.  He was a super fanatic of the rock group "KISS" and could draw every member and every record album perfectly by memory.   I was in awe with his artistic ability. He also was trained as a drummer.  Another cool thing I liked about Greg.  I'll mention more about this in a later post.  Greg was in love with Lisa.  That was utterly apparent.  She loved him, but her parents did not.  It was that great stress of having one's parents not approve of your choices of mates that would have her leave Greg and latch onto someone else. 

The someone else I am referring to is Ron.  He was a nice guy, but something about him I didn't care for.  He was a volunteer EMT I believe.  One of the first guys I sort of dated was Bill.  He was Ron's friend.  Bill was a unique dude.  I don't remember much about him and I think that was a practical thing on my part.  We went out a couple times, and one evening Lisa and I met up with Ron and Bill.  Lisa and Ron went off to talk alone, leaving Bill with me alone.  He was interested in robotic gizmos, and told me about his robotic helicopter.  We were sitting on someone's car, and talking for a couple hours it seems.  Then Lisa and Ron returned, we all went to Bill's house and that's when things got way too serious for me.  Lisa and Ron spent time together and Bill was acting weird and I guess trying to come on to me.  I just was so afraid, so naïve, and I kept telling him no.  He left me on the sofa. It was like 3am I think.  I tried to go to sleep, kept hoping Lisa would return so we could go home.  It was like 5am when we finally got home.  I was coming in as my Mom was getting up.  That was awfully strange to say the least.  I was angry with Lisa for putting me in that uncomfortable spot, as I had no way to leave...she was my ride.   And the last thing I remember about Bill was that he and Lisa had a talk about me, and then he started hitting on her.  Well then I think she understood why I was uncomfortable.  One of the first paralyzing memories I have of dating a guy.  Really messed with my head for a LONG time after that.

Early in 1987 I had met Gary through Greg. Gary and I dated for a few months. Gary, Greg and Chuck, all lived at the Salvation Army residence in town. Gary was from Indiana and was in the Missouri National Guard. He didn't have a settled home and wound up in my hometown. Chuck, well, I am not sure I know where Chuck was from. He and Gary met up with Greg at The Salvation Army home and became friends. Greg thought Gary was my type I guess and I dated him. He was a very timid soul. We got a long pretty well. The three guys managed to get some work lined up and rented a townhome together. It was a new place, really nice, a bedroom for each of them. Chuck always felt out of place, he wasn't dating anyone and I think seeing Lisa with Greg and me with Gary made him feel a little like a 5th wheel when we all went out to dinner or do anything together. We spent a lot of time at that townhouse.

Gary was into me, but I was not as responsive as he would like. Again, naïve and fearful of guys, thanks to Bill, I was just not sure about getting involved in a romance with Gary. I really needed support and guidance from Lisa, but she was too interested in her romance with Greg that she was not paying attention to much else.  So I just didn't accept Gary's advances and eventually he would find someone else to get heavily involved with.  Don't know where he picked up this gal, but she was every bit 10-15 years older than him.  I was jealous and hurt... and Lisa was mad as heck at Gary for hurting me so.  I hadn't felt like I was in love with him, and for me to get seriously involved with anyone had to have love and passion there.  After he effectively dumped me, probably weeks later, I could tell that I had felt something for him.   And then started blaming myself for not responding to his needs sooner.  It was the first time I had dated and had my heart broken.  This would haunt me for a long time...not Gary particularly, but just the idea I had a guy, refused him and then was dumped.   Rejection of that type hurts very deeply.  I wouldn't understand the confusion I was in for a long long time. 

In July 1987 Lisa and I flew out to Denver, her old hometown, and stayed with her former neighbors.  They put us up for the time we were out there.  Lisa used to babysit their kids, I was introduced to them all.  The boy played ice hockey and I remember him getting all his gear together to go to practice.  Nice kids.  Nice family.  I cannot recall their names anymore.  But I do remember feeling very welcomed there. 

While out in Denver for this visit, Lisa also introduced me to her former boyfriend, Jimmy.  And to Jimmy's parents and brother and sister-in-law.  It was July, got to be 95 degrees during the day.  Hot but not humid.  Something very new to me, as St. Louis July summer days could equally get up to 95 but it was also always oppressively humid.  Something I detested.  In the evening, in Denver, it got down into the 50s, huge drop in temp, and with the low humidity it felt like it was in the 40s to me.  I had to borrow a winter coat so I wouldn't freeze.  Lisa and Jimmy laughed at me wearing a winter coat in July, but hey when you're cold, you're cold!

I loved Denver, smog and all!  The family we were staying with took Lisa and I on a drive to Evergreen Colorado, which was in the foothills of the Rockies.  Gorgeous!  It was so cool to drive into the mountains, first time I had ever seen MOUNTAINS in my life!  You could see them from Denver pretty well if the brown smog wasn't bad.  Hwy 70 goes west straight into and through the mountains, literally.   Before getting there though you had to drive by Stapleton Airport, and that was the first time I had been on a highway the went under the airport...well the runways actually.  That was so cool....long tunnels to drive in.  2 to be exact.  St Louis would much later expand and create something similar, but not with a highway such as I70 driving under/through it. 

Lisa and Jimmy were high school sweethearts, but Lisa had to move after high school when her Dad got transferred to St Louis.  He worked for TWA airlines.  They were all originally from New York City, Long Island.  He got transferred to Denver when Lisa was in grade school.  Lisa always told me lots of stories about the people she knew in NYC and Denver, and always talked about Jimmy.  Even sometimes while dating Greg.  I just knew her heart was split on these two fellas.  Ron was just someone that was accepted by her parents, but not like Greg or like Jimmy.  I didn't have a preference of either, both were fun to be around.  Greg was from the country and was an unbridled kind of guy with I think ambition to be in a Rock Band and to get out of his hometown and be with Lisa.  Jimmy didn't have a passion in any type of particular work, he just wanted to party and have fun.  That's what I remember of these two guys.


....some relationships are not meant to last a lifetime, but all relationships teach us something.  They teach us about humanity, about ourselves, and about human emotions of all kinds.  I would soon be experiencing all sorts of emotions in the many months that followed my trip to Denver.  Hang on....literally and figuratively...the ride is going to get very bumpy!




Here are some photos of some of the people during this time.  No I have no photos of Gary, Chuck, Ron, Bill or even myself.  I always was the one behind the camera.   I was the one wanting to take photos of others as keepsakes...for this very blog even before blogs were invented!  If I find any photos of any of these folks, I will update this post.  I always do.


 

 

Kelly at her home Christmas 1986

 

 

 

Greg and Lisa (and Greg's nephew) at Greg's Sister's home



Lisa S., Lisa R. and Greg down on the Riverfront

New Friend From Far Off Land...

Even though I had graduated High School and was attending Business School, I still hung around friends still attending SCHS.

One of my good friends was Chris E. She was in my brother's class, three years behind me. I don't remember how we met. Kinda thinking it was through sports or something. She played instruments and Volleyball. I loved Volleyball! I loved playing it, I loved watching it. What I do know is between her and Nancy, I met Pascale. She was the Exchange Student from Belgium, and she and I became fast friends.

I don't even know where to start. She was the same age I was; had already graduated high school in her home land. But she was allowed to come to the U.S. and take her Senior year again. She had 8 years of English training, and spoke fluently. She was from the Southern part of Belgium which spoke French. They are known as the Walloons. The Northern part speaks Dutch and known as the Flemish. These two sides often were at war with each other but since 1831 when the country received independence from The Netherlands it's calmed down a lot.   I thought this the most fascinating thing about a country I knew little about. But Pascale taught me more during the year she was here in the states.

We hung together like two inseparable bees on the weekends. She also played volleyball and I'd go watch her play. She was well liked by everyone she was around. I knew that she had a boyfriend back in Belgium; his name was Phillipe. Weekly I think she called her family or they called her, and she let them know what was going on in her life.  I was with her a few times when her phone calls occurred, but I had no idea what she was saying in her native tongue.

She was a very bubbly person. Very attractive....a couple suitors had their eyes on her. One was a very geeky guy. She was always polite to him but you could tell she wasn't interested in dating, her soul mate was back home!   There were many people that she wanted to hang with, and at times a little jealousy formed in my heart cause of course I wanted to hang with her as well.  But I think we had a good relationship. 

Her host family consisted of a mom and dad and I believe three kids. They had hosted Exchange students before from different countries. Pascale had to babysit the kids when the parents would be gone for various functions.  I remember quite vividly watching MTV with one of the kids. The song "We Built This City" by Starship was one of my faves back then...and loved the opportunity to see the video. We didn't have cable TV at my house.

I once let Pascale drive my car. Just once.  And during her driving escapade, she did a donut in someones side yard. I laughed and then switched seats with her. I didn't want us getting caught, you see!!! She was full of mischief at times, but she was the first person to push me to come out if my shell. 

Let's see, so much to say here.  Um.... 

At Christmas time the 2 main Exchange Student program directors invited all the Exchange Students to a party.  They in turn could invite a friend.  And Pascale invited me to meet all these people.  It was surreal.  Like being at the U.N.  People from every European country was there, it seemed; as well as from Japan, China, and I am sure from South America or Africa.  I just really remember Franz from Germany.  He was cute guy and wore some clothing I had never seen in person.    Lederhosen  yes, the hat with a feather, no.  LOL!!  I had the grandest time meeting all these people.  Pascale didn't know all of them, but you couldn't tell.  She was just so affable with everyone. 

She also babysat some kids that lived down the street from her host home.  They had three kids under 5 and the youngest was a baby.  I came over one time while she was sitting with them, and she asked if I could do her a big favor.  It was almost New Year's Eve and she was invited to go out with some folks (I don't know who or how she knew them), and asked if I could babysit in her place.  Even though I'd rather had spent the ringing in of the New Year with her or some other friends, I said yes.  My heart told me that she is here, living here, a once in a lifetime opportunity, and I just couldn't say no to her experience and her request.  I met the parents, and she told them I would babysit.  I had experience sitting for my cousin's kids and some family's kids my Mom knew from work.  They accepted the whole thing, and I did babysit and Pascale had a wonderful time with the people she was with that nice evening.  I knew in my heart she really wanted to be with Phillipe and that wasn't possible, I really could sense that she was a little homesick at the holidays.  So I did what a good friend would do. 

Earlier on I learned Pascale loved to see as much as she could of the St. Louis area, so I took her to a Cardinal vs. Cubs game at the stadium.  We got there really early and wanted first go up in the Gateway Arch but it was closed for some reason.  Bummer!  But we enjoyed the day. Nancy K. was with us.    I took Pascale to other places, like one of the cool malls at the time.  She loved that.  She always liked commenting on the American lifestyle.  She always cracked me up.   To her we had a timid side and not very open with others.  In her custom, it is normal to greet a friend by kissing them on each cheek.  Here we don't that. That was a bit strange to get used to for me.  No one but one Aunt ever kissed my cheek.  But over time, I kinda got used to it.   

She had told me that her parents only sent her $35 a month to spend while living here.  I knew that wasn't a whole lot of money for an 18 year old to use for entertainment or purchasing special clothes, whatever.  So I came up with an idea.  If she taught me French, however she wished to do that, I would pay her $10 an hour to do so.  She cried when I told her this, accepted the offer, and that's when I took her around town, downtown St. Charles has a French section, the waterfront park, and shops of all kinds on Main Street.  We spent a lot of afternoons down there.  Sometimes it was chilly, so we sat in my car and watched the different people do their thing and she taught me French.   I took notes, I even still have all that stuff in one of my keepsake spots in my current residence.  I had the most fun time watching her see my country through her eyes.  And she just soaked up every second of it. 
 
One of my most favorite memories was when Nancy, Chris E. and myself, along with Chris' parents blessing, planned a surprise birthday party for Pascale.  We held it in Chris' parents basement.  Invited several friends of Pascale's, including a couple of the other Exchange Students she was fond of.  I took her out for dinner at Red Lobster, and gave her a present from me.  It was an embroidered picture with the saying about friendship.  She loved the whole thing.  The premise was to have her think this was her birthday gift...but little did she know.   After dinner I drove back towards her home, but told her I had to make a pitstop at Chris' house.  She went in with me, and her parents and Chris made it seem like no big deal going on there.  I don't recall how we got her to the basement of all places without suspecting anything, but she was surprised as ever!  We had a rocking good time.  That was the first surprise birthday party I had ever hosted.  It was fun for all!

The last good memory I have is being there while she was getting ready to go to Prom with the geeky dude, I think his name was John.  I took pictures of them before they left.  Well, really I took pictures all the time...of Pascale and all our friends in different environments.  She was a beautiful young lady.  He was all snazzied up as well.   She didn't really want to go with him, she wanted to just go and mingle with everyone, but I think her host family convinced her it was the proper thing to do to go with a guy to Prom.  I always laugh when I think of this memory.  She was silly.   Very independent, very determined.  I loved that about her alot. 

I hated to see her go.  It was a tearful goodbye.  I did keep in touch with her for several years, but by 1995 she had married Phillipe and moved to Bassily Belgium and was working as a translator I believe, the job she really wanted to do.  I have tried to find her on the internet, but it is difficult when there are lots of Pascale's, Phiillipe's and the language barrier kills it for me.  I tried once to write a translator online, to help me convert my English letter to Pascale's parents (they still lived in the same home where I wrote to her before she married) so they could read it.  I believe her parents only knew French.  So I couldn't call them if I wanted to....I never dealt with overseas calling before, and I was not sure how that would go.  Writing seemed more logical, but this translator didn't help too much, so I just gave up the whole deal.  I am sure she and her family are doing well.   She was one of those types of people you meet once in a lifetime.  I treasure all those good memories and lots of laughter I shared with her.

.....when a special person comes into your life for a short time, it can be so wonderful.  Never forget to be there 100% for them, it really is a blessing for the rest of your life to have those memories.   Doing for others is a blessing in itself....I had more opportunities to help others as time will tell in this journey. 

 

Me and Pascale - I think at Chris E.'s house  
Definitely me in one of my happier days

I forgot that I wore head bands, OMG!!!

 

 

 

Pascale holding some cookies that were made in her hometown, Tournai, Belgium

She was ecstatic when we found these at a store at a Mall.  

 

 

 

Pascale and John before heading to Prom

I believe this was an impromptu pic...something I am famous for!

Thoughts On Friendships....

Because friendships mean a lot to me, and I am sure a lot to most people, I am gearing up to share a lot of memories of different people that had a profound affect on my me and my heart.  I want to find the special pictures to share, and then write my recollection of all those memories as best I can.   I have so many to talk about, so I am attempting to devote one or maybe two entries for each.  It's my trying to say these things in more or less chronological order that is a challenge.  I just remember so much.... which can be a blessing and a curse.   I choose to believe that having all the memories I do a blessing...it's just a curse to remember what happened first.   Sometimes things happen simultaneously....and in that I cannot help but possibly repeat some things, giving context and my complete recollection for those that meant so much to me. 

 

I hope this blog has been interesting for you to read.   We've only hit my 19th year and there are many more episodes, people, events of all kinds to mention and explore.   It is in the sharing of my life that I hope to have a recorded memory of it for me to reread again and gain, and to also share with anyone interested to read it.   Sometimes I think reading about another's memories triggers happy memories in ourselves, about times where people or God were pushing us, urging us to learn something in the events of our lives.  Years later when you recollect what you have been through you learn the patterns, you learn the way you developed, you learn the way you changed and became the person you are today.   I hope this is a kind of blessing to read.  Do comment, do let me know if you had memories or thoughts triggered in you.  I love to hear all comments...thank you. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Down To Business ...

During the Summer of 1985, again my Mom did some research and found that I could attend Sanford-Brown Business School (not an accredited college yet) and it would cost NOTHING.  Because of the financial status of our family, I would be able to attend school, tuition and books fully paid and get a diploma in whatever program they offered.   This was wonderful news to me! 

I wanted to go to a 4 year university and get a degree, but could not see why I couldn't follow in my Dad's footsteps and attend the Business School he did many years prior.   So Mom and I headed to the school, talked with an admissions advisor, and I chose to take the program on Data Entry and Computer Principles.   Computers were finally beginning to become prominent in business and it seemed like a good fit for me...I wanted to work in a white collar job like my parents did when they met and married.

August 1985 was the beginning of classes.  Unlike all my high school classes and teachers I remember to this day, I don't recall all the classes and really don't remember teacher names during the 9 months I attended SBBS.  What I do remember more are some of the people I met, some of the work I did and some of the antics that went on.  It was like college but still more like high school to me.  I went to class and again did well in all of them.   I really didn't make any friends there until December 1985.  I was a shy one, new environment, and all new people surrounding me.  I wasn't known for being an extrovert at all!  

First two people I met and befriended were both named Lisa.  Then I met Donna.  Then we all met Mona and her sister.  The five of us would do stuff together outside of our classes.   Lisa S. lived in the dorms across town from the college.  Lisa R. and myself still lived at home.  Mona and her sister I believe lived an apartment near the highway.   And Donna lived at home with her significant other.  During the rest of the school year I had visited each of these places.  Only Lisa R. had been to my house.  I was still anxious about anyone turning up at my home with my Dad there.  I just didn't want him to embarrass himself or me, in front of my friends. 

The two Lisa's knew others at the dorms and I met a lot of guys and gals there.  Several times throughout the school year, we'd finish classes (around 1pm) and head to the dorms and party over there.  That was my introduction to dorm life.  Sometimes we'd skip our last class, I was doing well in the class, so skipping it didn't bother me much.  It was like a learn on your own thing for one of the programming languages I was learning.  We'd head to the Lee's Fried Chicken restaurant down the street and have lunch and just plain enjoy ourselves.  I loved this school year after I met these people.  I let some of my defenses down and had a good time as a 19 year old in a new environment.

On many Tuesday nights, the two Lisa's and I would travel across the river into Illinois (the East side) and go to a Ladies night at Stages, a dance club.  That was my introduction to drinking and dancing...and men looking to pick up girls.  For the life of me I could never figure out how it was legal for this bar to serve girls underage.  Everyone entering had to show their driver license.  And girls were allowed in if they were at least 19.  Guys had to be 21.   Thinking back on it now, it was the ultimate in hookup places.  Although, I can admit now, I was never "picked up" in that place.  I had a dueling feeling in my heart about that.  On the one hand I really wanted a guy to ask me to dance (that never happened) and on the other hand I was way out of my element and scared of older guys.  In reality, this was really not a safe place to be for a naïve girl like myself.   I just wanted to belong, and dance, and have friends.  And drink. 

We were there once at this club and some male strippers were performing.  I was totally freaking out at all that.  Watching the looser girls up by the stage carrying on, I would laugh, I would stare, I would turn my head, I just didn't know what the heck to do.  That was the only one of a few times I ever was in proximity to male strippers. 

What I truly enjoyed was the band that played live there on Tuesday nights.  They were called Tropix.  They were very good.  The lead singer was a very attractive guy, his brother was in the band, and if I wasn't checking out their performances, I was eyeing the keyboardist.  That was the instrument I loved back then.  The brother of the lead singer was dating some girl that worked at the hair salon Lisa R. went to get her hair done.  That's how Stages became a part of our lives for several months. 

A few times instead of heading to the bar, we stayed at the dorms and drank and played games or watched sports on TV.  I remember attempting to drink a 6 pack of beer and not being able to get past can number 5.  I was pretty drunk, and although that was not the first time I had gotten that drunk, I was happy that no one took advantage of my state.  I really didn't think too far ahead about what could have happened in those circumstances.  I think all my experiences back then taught me how easy it is for girls to get into a load of trouble with guys and one thing leading to another, all while under the influence.  You have to remember this was 1985-1986, when AIDS was in the news all over the place.  All I remember back then was it was a sexually transmitted disease, and I didn't want that death sentence.  I think this was one of the main reasons I didn't try to open myself up to any guys and date back then.   I just didn't trust guys and I didn't want to get AIDS.  (Oh, normally you'd hear girls say they didn't want to get pregnant....well, that was not an issue for me....you'll learn why soon.)

Lisa R. was good friends with Lisa S.  But Lisa R. and I would become very close friends and do lots of stuff together.  When it came time for graduation in June 1986, Lisa R.'s parents invited my parents to their home to meet and then go to the graduation ceremony.  I was concerned the whole time about how my Dad would be perceived.  I was happy to learn later from my mom that everything went well.  And later still learn from Lisa that her parents liked my parents.   That was a blessing.  Lisa's Mom could be quite particular about other people's manners.  I never knew my Dad to have manners...sad to say.  But I guess he was on his best behavior, and that I loved to hear!

The ceremony was at a unique place.  And the stage was a place celebrities came to perform, and the whole stage rotated around and around!   Really wild.   But it moved slowly, so everyone in a 360-degree circle around it could see the going's on up on stage.  I again had to wear a cap and gown and received a diploma for my efforts.  I earned a 3.9 GPA that year, and I was most pleased with that accomplishment.  I think my parents were too! 

Many kids go off to college and have fun, learn new subjects, make friends and "sow their oats" so to speak, before getting serious and finishing degrees and getting married and having families.  I started out pretty much the same way, but life didn't exactly progress in the same manner that many of my High School friends lives did.   I wouldn't continue college after Sanford-Brown as I intended.  I got involved in other going's on, and headed down a different path.  My life would soon become an adventure...sometimes interesting, sometimes scary.  Never boring. 

....life is never predictable.  You can plan something for years and things change midstream when you least expect it.  You can be enjoying your youth and suddenly be transported into very adult situations and have no idea how to deal with things.  These are the things I contended with.  Sometimes well, sometimes not.   More to this life saga coming up, stay tuned ....

The facade of Sanford-Brown campus.

The school was in front of a golf course.

I took this picture because of the humor of it all. 

 

Lisa R. (in the hat) and Donna taken indoors from the patio

where we'd congregate between classes.

I couldn't find any pictures of myself at this time in my life at school.  Ahh..