When Life Sends You On A Journey

Wednesday, September 4

More Twists in Colorado ...

Well before Lisa's wedding, actually the night before at rehearsal, her Dad and Stella told everyone that they were going to be married.  Lisa was livid, and her sister was ecstatic!  Two very different reactions to the news.  I didn't know what to think.  They had only been dating a few months, but apparently Lisa's Dad is the kind of guy that cannot be alone.  He was married to his first wife for over 30 years.  And only a few months after becoming a widower, he meets Stella.  To me it was too quick, to Lisa's Nana (Grandmother) it was normal for men to remarry quickly after their spouse dies.  She was not at all surprised and was very supportive.  I learned to be supportive.  And so did Lisa.

I think Lisa's problem was she wasn't finished mourning the loss of her Mother, if that ever really does finish.  And she couldn't see Stella as her new Mom.  But I was there when she became friends with Stella and learned to love her.  Stella had children and grandchildren and the two families began to become one from there.

Lisa's Dad and Stella married on April 1st, yes April Fool's Day.  I don't know why they picked that day.  Must have been something about it between the two of them.   What I remember is they got married by the Justice of the Peace (a Judge) in a hotel.   Nice place, it was lovely, and I remember them both dancing to some songs by Lionel Richie.   Every time I hear "Stuck On You" I remember Stella and Lisa's Dad. 

~~

Before 1989 began I had moved into my own apartment.  Lisa and Jimmy and Anthony lived in Aurora, still in the apartment the 3 of us originally shared.  It was actually the 2nd apartment we shared.  The first one had a sewer back up into the kitchen, and being on the 1st floor meant a mess. The owners let us move to a 2nd floor apartment which was nicer, newer and only $25 a month more, I think.  I found my own apartment in Denver, not in the heart of the city, but a couple blocks West of Aurora.   It was a one bedroom apartment with a fairly big front room, that was supposed to be a dining room and living room combo.  I had a large bedroom, with a long closet, probably equal to a large walk-in closet.   The kitchen was a teeny tiny galley style kitchen.  It was annoyingly small, but then again with just me there, not a big problem. 

The only really silly thing was the bathroom set up.   Next to my bedroom was the vanity part, sink and mirror.  Then on the inner part was the toilet and shower.  Shower was standard size, but whoever designed this bathroom left no leg room really.  If you didn't close the door first to use the toilet, you couldn't close the door without getting up and moving.  Craziest thing I had to get used to. 

I accumulated some furniture with Lisa's help from garage sales and from friends of friends or coworkers.  I was never a hugely picky person about household things, I spent $30 on new cooking utensils.  A couple of which have survived until this VERY DAY!  

My apartment was on the 2nd floor of a 3 story apartment complex.  It was a courtyard style complex.  Parking was out on a lot, and I parked pretty much right outside my bedroom window.  You had to have a code to get in the gate to get into the courtyard.  Then walk to the middle and you would look up and see all the front doors to all the apartments.   They had stairs in different areas and I was closest to the one that was near the gate.   Hauling groceries in from my car to my apartment was a chore. I learned to not buy too much at one time, and I learned to grab all my bags and carry them all up at one time. 

None of the apartments had laundry hookup, we had to share a common laundry building smack in the middle of the courtyard.  Again, doing laundry was a pain in the butt, and I had to plan what I wanted to wash and take my quarters, detergent and fabric softener.   I would hang out down there sometimes through all the loads and fold and bring stuff up, but other times I would just go up and down the stairs, knowing when to go back and put the softener in.  Sometimes I missed the rinse cycle and sometimes I didn't.  Some nights I would just come home from work, and watch TV and do loads of laundry. 

It was a kinda of changing time for me, I was homesick sometimes, and bored to be living by myself.  That was the first time I had ever done that. I didn't have any other friends outside of work, and at this time I had just started working at BMW Financial, so I really had no friends then either.  I looked forward to visiting Lisa and Jimmy and seeing Anthony.  Most of the time I had to go to Jimmy's parents house to do my visiting, they were over there a lot. 

My rent was $275 a month, and that included heat.   My apartment stayed heated from a boiler under the apartments I believe, I had just to pay my phone bill (no cell phones yet), Public Service bill (just electric for me, but they billed for electric and gas if you had both), and my car insurance.   I made enough to live on.  I even got the newspaper delivered.  But after a while, life got really crazy again and I had no time to read it, I just tossed newspapers behind a table or the sofa and started looking a little like a hoarder.  Not really that bad, but it was embarrassing at times.  I had just basic TV with rabbit ears, no cable.  I couldn't afford that.  I think I spent time doing crafts when nothing else was going on. 

There was a bar on the first floor, I don't remember where it was there, and I rarely went there, but I always thought that was weird that I lived somewhere where it was a literal hop, skip and a jump to get liquor or beer.  I think the bar was called Excalibur's.   

I didn't date anyone then, so nothing in the love life area to speak of.  It was work, drive, shop, home and TV for the most part.  But that all didn't last too long. Things soon would get funky. 

~~

JImmy and LIsa started having problems, I am sure related to Jimmy's drinking problem.  At some point Lisa got fed up with Jimmy and moved herself and Anthony in with me.  Now I was not fully opposed to the idea, but then again, I just started getting used to them as the little family and me as the pseudo-Aunt and Godmother and loved to visit.   

Poor little Anthony had colic, really bad.  I learned how to hold him in a couple ways that the doctor said would be supportive and relieve his gastro-pain.  I learned then that the digestive tract is the last system in the body to develop.  Sometimes babies get colicky, sometimes they get jaundiced, and sometimes they have other issues.  Anthony had both of these.  But the jaundice went away during his first month of life.  Colic took a few more months.  He'd cry often, and for hours, I was always willing to help with caring for him.  He was like a nephew to me, and I loved him to pieces.  I could help Lisa catch up on her rest by caring for him.   That was a pretty cool time then.  

But then Jimmy ended up losing his job or something, again alcohol I believe ruined that for him.  And he and Lisa made amends and then HE moved into my apartment.   So here we were, 3 adults and a baby living in a one bedroom apartment.  Whenever I hear stories of whole families living in an apartment, with many adults, I kinda know how that feels.  It can be claustrophobic.  And Lisa could be a bossy woman too.  I lost my cool often, she could be so overbearing.  During this time I made Anthony central to the life in my apartment.  Just because these two "love birds" could go from happy to destructive in a day didn't mean this little guy they had brought into the world had to suffer. 

~~

....life can be a challenge.  When you want to live on your own, you can get lonesome.  When you want to have companions, they can be a pain to deal with.  Sometimes I think there is no happy middle ground.   You have to learn to roll with the punches, and accept people as they are in the moods they are in, and just learn to get along.  Life got even more funky as time went on in my little apartment.   The beginning of a new phase was about to begin!



Me holding a colicky baby Anthony

Anthony James, what a cutie patootie he was!